How Social Media Is Changing The Childhood Experience
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I can’t imagine having grown up with all of the social media access and apps that children have today. When I was growing up, the most we had was AOL Chat. Remember that? You’d have your little list of friends who were on, and it would make a door opening or door closing noise as they signed on and off? You’d rush home after school, turn on your computer, wait for your dial-up internet to take forever to kick in and got, maybe, if you were lucky, an hour on there before your parents called you to dinner or told you to start your homework. That was it.
Any opportunity I had to use the Internet to communicate with the outside world was limited to A) at home B) a computer (and a bulky one at that) and C) for a very limited time. Now, children have WiFi on their smartphones, that they carry with them everywhere, and can share, post, chat, go live, update, like, comment, etc., any time they want. With or without the presence and supervision of an adult. As often as they want. Anywhere they are. Woah. Really, I don’t know how parents handle it today.
Aside from cyber risks, I think that all of this social media access that kids and teens have today is changing the very nature of childhood as we know it. There are elements of childhood that to me are so nostalgic and so what it means to be a kid that I think are gone for children today. I even think that perhaps, some of those elements that I experienced were important to my growing up well adjusted, respectful of my elders, patient…a lot of qualities I may or may not find lacking in kids and teens today. I know parents are expected to give kids access to technology today, but I still think these are ways social media is changing the experience of childhood.
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Boredom is a thing of the past
Do you remember boredom? As a working adult, boredom probably seems like such a luxury now. If you’re bored, it means that you have free time, and who has that? Well, kids do. Or, they did. As I child, I remember so often being totally bored, and feeling like I was waiting for life to begin. It was just me, hanging in my backyard or in my room on a Saturday. Sure, I had friends, but we weren’t always together and when we weren’t, I was…bored.
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Boredom builds creativity and character
I think the opportunity to be bored actually sparks creativity and builds character. With nothing to do, I was forced to make up games and create activities for myself. I also developed fortitude from just having to wait to be entertained sometimes. Children don’t have to do that today. They are never bored and they are never out of touch with friends on social media. They don’t have to use their imagination: all of the apps and games available to them have imagined everything for them. And they don’t have to be patient and wait to have fun. That’s always at their fingertips, on their phones.
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What about waiting to see your crush?
Oh my goodness, remember that? All the hours or days (weekends/holiday breaks) waiting to see your crush again? Or even just waiting for this class to be over, because you share the next class together. There was that giddy excitement of never knowing if or when you’d run into him at the mall or in the lunch area. I look back on that so fondly.
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Kids can always see their crush now
I’ll be next to a set of teens at a restaurant, and I’ll hear them talking about, “Did you see Shawn’s Instagram story? He’s at the game. And Jonathan posted on Facebook he’s going to Kristina’s party.” All the mystery of wondering where your crush is, what he’s up to, and whether or not he’ll be at the party is totally gone. Damn. That makes me kind of sad.
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No more total holiday breaks
Do you remember when holiday and summer breaks felt like this eternity when you and all of your classmates went off into different dimensions, completely unaware of where the other was or what they were up to? And you got the chance to explore other parts of your personality, outside of your classmate’s expectations or ideas of you. You went to summer camp with other kids or went on a cruise with your family and got to reinvent yourself with the kids you met there.
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Kids never take a break from their crew now
Today, kids never fully escape their cliques, their crews, and the usual group of individuals they spend time with. Sure, they may travel with their families, spending weeks away from their classmates, but they aren’t really away. They’re live streaming on Facebook and posting to their Instagram story. They miss out on that total escape—a time to really explore their identities—that, for my generation, came with summer break, when we left our classmates for a while.
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A bigger obsession with perception
I know that I, personally, was obsessed with how others saw me and what others thought of me when I was a child and a teenager. I spent a lot of time thinking about that moment I’d step out of my mom’s car in the morning at the drop off zone, and first impressions the other kids would get of my outfit. Today, kids don’t even get a break from the judgment and observation of others. They put everything on social media.
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As if it wasn’t bad enough already
Knowing how much anxiety I had about outsider perception when I was young and didn’t have social media, I can’t even imagine how tough it is for teens today. Where is the safe space? At least when I was young, when I went home, I was safe. Nobody was looking at me or judging me or criticizing me. But kids don’t get that today because they bring all of that judgment upon themselves by posting and updating, all day long.
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More opportunity for social mistakes
The terror of the teenage social mistake. Do you recall? When you’d trip and fall in the courtyard. Or spill on yourself. Or cry at school. It was mortifying. It felt like all eyes were on you. I was constantly walking on eggshells, making sure I didn’t make some huge social faux pas. But, at least once it happened, it was over in an instant. Not today…
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It’s all over social media
It’s rather concerning that children and teenagers who really don’t know who they are or what they’re doing are putting things on the Internet at a rapid speed—the Internet, where things can be forever and be spread around to thousands in a second. I imagine kids and teens regularly post things they deeply regret, and then there’s no turning back. It didn’t just happen in the courtyard at school. It happened on Twitter, then someone screenshot that and shared it on Facebook and ten other people shared it.
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There’s even more danger
Cyber space has always been a dangerous place for young individuals, but it’s even more dangerous now because there are just so many platforms. There are so many ways for teenagers to connect with total strangers, making it nearly impossible for parents to supervise them. All my parents had to do to see what I was doing online when I was young was look at my AOL chat when I stepped away to use the restroom.
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And there’s less fear of the danger
While there is more to be afraid of online, I think kids and teens are less afraid than my generation was. Everyone is doing it (the posting and chatting and DMing) so it feels okay. But just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it’s safe. In fact, because social media activity is so predominant now, I fear kids and teens may be less prone to tell a friend (or an adult) if someone sends them an inappropriate message online.
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Possibly more disobedience
I wasn’t always a model child, and my parents would punish me accordingly. Whatever it would be. No seeing friends for two weekends, no TV, no allowance. Whatever it was, the most I could do was pout about it, and maybe tell friends at school. But discipline within our home was kept basically within the home. Not so today…
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We see the shaming
You’ve seen the posts: kids and teens blasting a post out to the world about their parents’ inhumane treatment of them. The kid messed up, got disciplined, posted about the disciplinary action online, and then the whole Facebook community shamed the parent for being too harsh. Do we perhaps now live in a world where kids feel more empowered to act out, knowing that, if their parents choose to discipline them, those same kids can shame their parents online?
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Where is the isolation?
I remember having a general sense of isolation as a kid—but it was a good thing. I needed a break from the opinions and influence of my peers. I needed time to just sit in my room and play make-believe. I sort of enjoyed long, lazy Saturdays of doing nothing but hanging in my backyard because nobody was available to hang out. I think it recharged me, and boosted my creativity in a way that children today just don’t get.
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