The Struggles Of Home Decorating With A Minimalist Partner - Page 10

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My partner is a minimalist, and that’s a part of what I like about him. I like that he isn’t superficial, and doesn’t need a bunch of things to feel good about himself. He’s the antidote to a society that’s buying things like, ten-inch reflective visors and shoes that light up. There’s a lot of stuff out there, and a lot of people who feel like they must purchase said stuff if they’re going to avoid a total meltdown. My partner is nothing like that. He’s endearingly old school and easy to please. He doesn’t need much to be happy.

What I didn’t know was that, when we moved in together, this minimalist lifestyle was going to affect me. Most specifically, it was going to affect how we decorated our home. When I met my partner, he pretty much had a bed, a desk, and a kitchen table. I just thought it was because he was busy. I thought he just needed a little guidance, and didn’t know how to decorate a home. Now I know that that was a choice and he stubbornly, vehemently believes that people don’t really need to decorate their homes. Yikes. You can imagine what I’m dealing with. I knew living together could be tough but I wasn’t expecting this.

So now here I am, trying to make a house a home with a man who has no idea what a crown molding or nail head trim is. He has absolutely zero interest in getting anything beyond “the essentials.” But his idea of the essentials really doesn’t cover the essentials, in my honest opinion. Every time I try to bring up home decorating or (god forbid) include him in the task, I fight an uphill battle. Everyone walks away frustrated and we still have blank walls and hideous dining chairs. Here are the struggles of home decorating with a minimalist.

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He has no vision

He has absolutely no artistic vision when it comes to a home. I’ll try to talk to him about how using certain colors can make the room look taller or the space look bigger. I try to talk about sticking to a theme, if not throughout the whole house, at least per room—each room should have a unified look. He has no idea what I’m talking about. He just wants to put the Western lamp next to the contemporary painting and get it over with.

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He doesn’t think we need rugs

The man does not think that we need rugs. We are about to move to a place with all hardwood floors (hell yeah baby!), and I’m trying to explain to him that we should pick out and put down rugs before putting down all of our heavy furniture, or else we’ll have to re-lift said furniture when we find the rugs. “What rugs? He asks. “We don’t need rugs? What good do rugs do? Rugs are floor you pay for when you already have a floor! I’m supposed to put a floor on top of my floor?”

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A lamp is just a light

He refuses to understand that light fixtures can be things of beauty. He just thinks they emit light. Let me tell you something: when we moved into our current apartment, there was no light fixture over the kitchen, and my boyfriend’s plan was to just use the oven lamp. “This gives plenty of light!” he said. “Why do we need to buy additional lamps if we have this one?”

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Pillows are for the bed

If I dare to put an accent pillow somewhere, he loses it. He sits down on it, fussing, pulling it out from under him, squirming like this pillow is so offensive. “What’s this? Why do we need pillows here? This is not a bed.” I tell him it makes the place cozier. “We’re inside. It’s a couch. That means it’s cozy,” he says. Can a woman just get a little accent pillow on a couch to dress things up?

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He won’t even look at something online

I try to show him things for the house online. I try to make it very easy for him. I pull up a few options. I hand him the laptop and ask him to review. I step away. He’s on Reddit. He isn’t looking at the items I was showing him. He promises to return to them. It never happens. He just starts emailing me funny videos he found on Reddit.

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Let alone go to the store

There’s no way I’m getting that man into a home furnishings store. It simply isn’t happening. He says they give him anxiety. He also just talks so much sh*t about all the products, “Why does this have a skirt?!” he says of a chair while he tugs on it and laughs. The poor sales representatives have to stand there and take it.

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The first one is always “just fine”

If I get him to look at anything for the home, he always just picks the first one. He doesn’t even look at the others. He just wants to get it over with. “I looked at the others!” he says. I know it isn’t true because he always picks the very first thing I showed him.

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I’m high-maintenance, apparently

He thinks I’m high-maintenance for wanting things like, a photo display that looks like a staircase leaning against our book shelf (cute, right?), some potted plants, some rugs, some accent lamps, and things like that. I am trying to make our house a home. I think the way your home makes you feel influences your entire life. He just doesn’t see that. “I’m happy the way things are!” he says.

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He thinks everything is overpriced

I’ve never shown him something for the home that he didn’t find overpriced. I’ll try so hard to find something deeply discounted or at an overstock store. “Too expensive” he says. “Ridiculous!” he insists. I’ll find a dining room table for $150 at a thrift store and he says it’s too much. How much does he think a table should cost? Five dollars? (Probably).

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We’d have bare walls if it weren’t for me

If it weren’t for me taking the time to hang up paintings and photos of our friends and family, we’d have completely bare walls. Really, our place would look like a correctional facility. He says empty walls looks clean. No, they don’t. They look like we should all be wearing straight jackets.

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But he won’t select artwork

It will be no surprise that he won’t pick out artwork. He doesn’t quite understand the concept of paint on canvas costing a decent amount of money. “I could have painted that,” he says. He says that to, literally, Monet pieces. The natural oil paintings are too feminine. The modern, geometric ones make no sense to him. Nothing is good enough for our walls.

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He won’t select anything, but what I get is wrong

Of course, whatever I get is wrong. I can’t get him to look at or agree on a lamp, a rug, a desk chair, or a towel rack. He says he doesn’t care what I get. But then, when I bring something home, suddenly, he has opinions. Where were these opinions when I tried to get him to go to the home furnishing store with me last weekend?

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He just wants the cheapest thing

For him, it’s always about getting the cheapest thing. And he’ll nitpick over a few dollars. If we could have the gorgeous end tables for $200 or slightly less gorgeous ones for $150, he starts listing off the things we could do with that extra $50. He doesn’t, in any way, see the difference between the two items or understand how they could enhance our home.

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Guests have questions

My guests have questions about our home. Of course they do. They ask when we’ll finally settle in since we’ve been here for a while. They’ll ask, “Don’t you think it would be nice to put something on the walls?” They’ll text me photos of lamps and bookshelves they’re getting rid of, convincing me to take them as gifts. I have to tell them, without saying as much, that it is not my fault my place looks like this.