Should You Take On A Friend As A Tenant?

living with a friend pros and cons

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So you own a home and wouldn’t mind a little help with the mortgage. Perhaps you don’t need the help desperately, but you’re tired of living on such a tight budget, just to make those payments every month. If you’d just be willing to share your space aka take on a tenant, you could free up some income, and not feel like you were constantly pinching pennies. Plus, it can be nice to have extra life in the home. Even if you have a partner with whom you live, sometimes, an added personality can liven things up. Now the question is: do you take on a friend or a stranger as your tenant? Hopefully you wouldn’t take on a total stranger (don’t go to Craigslist for this one!), but there’s always the option of sending out some feelers to your network—coworkers and friends—and seeing if they know anyone looking for a place to live. Or, you could just take on a good, close friend. Here are the pros and cons of that.

You always have a friend around!

When you didn’t live with this friend, you always wished you could see her more than your schedules would allow. Now, you can see her all of the time! You don’t need to do a long email thread of scheduling, just to try to maybe get coffee in three weeks. You can catch up every single night.

You always have a friend around

Of course, sometimes, you don’t feel like catching up with anyone when you get home. Sometimes you don’t feel like speaking to a soul. And it is weird to walk into your home, see your friend who you’d normally be chatty with, and remain rather quiet. It can feel like something is wrong.

You can create boundaries

You can, of course, create boundaries. She gets it. She gets tired after long days of work, too. She doesn’t constantly feel like socializing in her home, either. You can have little code words like, “Closed for business” and “Open for business” which mean “I’m too burnt out to talk right now” and “I’m down to hang out if you are!”

But, that feels a little weird

It’s always an adjustment, however, to create those boundaries with a friend. You’re used to having the type of relationship where, if you see each other, it’s because you carved out time to do so and are ready to give one another your full attention. So changing that is weird. And then you still have to make sure you do maintain the friendship, and make that special time together. This is very similar to the adjustments you make when you first live with a partner.

You (mostly) know what you’re getting into

Whatever stuff this friend will come with, you know what it is. Does she have a tumultuous on-again-off-again relationship with some guy who will come and go? At least you already know that. You’re prepared for that. Is she a little messy? Well, you already know that—you’ve seen her current place.

Strangers can bring unexpected drama

Strangers can bring surprises. It’s almost impossible to really get to know someone from just a couple of interactions. You may find who you believe to be the perfect tenant, and then discover he listens to scream music and worships the devil and microwaves very smelly fish every day.

But, also, you knew what you were getting into

The downside of knowing what you were getting into with your friend is that, she can throw that back in your face: you did know what you were signing up for. She won’t find it very fair if you ask her not to have her boyfriend sleep over so much, if you always knew she had that boyfriend going into this.

With a stranger, you can talk about it

With a stranger, you feel more justified in laying some ground rules. You feel better about asking that stranger to adjust her behavior. She is your tenant, after all. And you’re her landlord, so you set the rules.

You know her financial situation

You’re familiar with your friend’s financial situation. You know she has a stable job, or parents who help her out financially if things get rough. You know how much she makes, so you feel comfortable asking for the rent you’re asking for. You know she has good work ethic, and probably won’t lose her job.

But if it changes, things get awkward

The thing is that, if your friend’s financial situation changes—like if she loses her job—things can get awkward. It feels so insensitive asking your friend for a rent check when you know that she’s struggling. But, also, you can’t have a tenant living there for free. You took on a tenant so you could get that income.

When something in her room breaks

When something breaks in your friend’s room—her toilet, or her closet door—it’s on you to fix it. That’s fine. But it can feel personal to her if you lag on fixing it. She’s you’re friend, and you know she’s over there dealing with a running toilet or broken closet door.

She feels weird pressuring you

Meanwhile, your friend feels weird pressuring you to fix things, especially if she knows that you are financially struggling. She knows it isn’t cheap to fix a shower. But, also, she needs a working shower so…she’s going to need you to cough up that $700.

You want to vent to her about your partner

Normally, if you were annoyed with your romantic partner, you’d vent to this friend about him. She’s your friend—that’s what friends do with each other! And now, she’s just on the other side of the wall, and you can tell her when your partner is driving you nuts, any time you want.

But, he also lives there

If your partner lives with you, though, that’s not quite fair. Now he can feel that the people under his own roof are ganging up against him. He doesn’t really want your tenant knowing your relationship dirty laundry. He needs some privacy.

If you’re good friends, you’ll get through it

The truth is that if your friendship is strong, you’ll get through all of the awkward elements of having your friend as a tenant. If you are good at communicating, you’re both patient and understanding, and you both want to help each other, it could be a really beautiful landlord/tenant relationship.

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