being a woman means

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Can we admit that, physically, being a woman is kind of a nightmare sometimes? Yes, there are times I love being in a woman’s body. I love my curves. I love how certain chemicals I have make me feel ultra-connected to cute things like babies and dogs. But, ultimately, I just feel like through the course of his life, a man doesn’t go through the extreme physical ups and downs a woman naturally goes through. I’m not talking about illness or chronic conditions. I’m just talking about the normal physical experiences a healthy female has. Our bodies are so complicated, temperamental, and sometimes messy. I’m just over here trying to have a career and date and compose myself but my body has other plans for me on some days. Here are things that are biologically unfair about being a woman.

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Difficulty orgasming

Hi, yes, hello, that’s a big one! While it’s rare that a man doesn’t finish, it’s rare that a woman does. Sure, there are things men can do if they really care about helping us finish, but that’s the thing: we need help. It doesn’t come easily.

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We have to work on our periods

We are expected to not only work but also perform at our best while on our periods. I’d love to see men do their best work with cramps, brain fog, and mood swings that can come with extreme bouts of depression.

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We have to talk to people on our periods

We are also expected to conduct ourselves in all of our social interactions completely normally, as if we aren’t in tons of physical and emotional pain, while on our periods. If we don’t, people will blame our periods, and that’s also very annoying.

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We are taxed on tampons

We pay taxes on a product that stops us from bleeding all over the place. Hey, we’re doing society a service there. The government should really cover the taxes on tampons and pads—don’t you think?

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Our boobs change several times

Throughout our lives, our boobs will make several changes. They’ll drop, expand, and deflate, all due to normal hormonal changes, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and aging. It’s not like men have to really worry about us noting major changes in parts of their bodies we take sexual pleasure from. Let’s be real: we don’t really look at their balls.

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Which means new, expensive bras

And since our boobs go through so many changes, that means we have to buy all new bras, whenever our boobs decide to transform. Bras are very, very expensive. Purchasing a new set after breastfeeding or turning forty is a serious cost.

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We’re most fertile when we’re still kids

By the time we feel financially and emotionally ready to have kids, doctors say we’d have a “geriatric pregnancy.” We are most fertile during the years we’re really not ready to have kids. So, we get biologically punished for getting our lives together before procreating.

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We dry up

Down south, that is. Many things can cause us to dry up, including certain medications we are on and, of course, age. And then we have to buy lube to make up for it, which can be pricey, and to which we can have adverse reactions.

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Then we’re judged for it

Our partners can take it personally when we dry up, really not understanding that it’s just a thing that happens to women sometimes. So there we are, not just dealing with the physical discomfort of drying up but also having to tend to our partner’s egos.

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Our hormones affect our appetite

Men never get it when our appetites are all over the place due to hormones. Men have it easy in the appetite department: if they work out a lot, they’re hungrier. It’s that simple. Not us. We have all of these times of the month when our appetite is unpredictable.

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So our weight fluctuates

Since our appetite changes with our hormones, our weight fluctuates often, too. In case men wonder why we sometimes take forever to decide what to wear, it’s because we can look totally different in an item from one week to the next.

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Our hormones can cause hair growth

Our fluctuating hormones can also cause us to suddenly grow hair in odd places like our chin and our nipples. When men grow more hair, it’s masculine, but extra hair on women isn’t typically considered alluring.

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Hair growth removal is expensive

So we have to find a new way to get rid of this new patch of hair. We can’t just shave our nipple hairs or wax our chins. Maybe we can. But we have to discover which method is most cost-effective and safe for our particular situation.

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We must keep a fresh va-jay-jay

Our vaginas open up to the insides of our bodies. And they create moisture. And our partners like that moisture. But then we’re also expected to make sure things smell like roses down there all of the time, which is really not, biologically, how they smell.

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The wrong exercise makes us bulky

If we get into the wrong type of exercise, we can get too bulky. Men like getting bulky, so they don’t have to worry about that. But we have to worry about staying in shape but also looking feminine.