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dating a single dad tips

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A friend of mine had a strict no-kids rule when it came to whom she chose to go out with. And now, she’s been happily dating a guy with kids for half a year. “What made you change your mind?” I asked her. She said he was A) very persistent and B) very insistent that his having children would not negatively impact what kind of partner he’d be. It turned out that not only was he telling the truth—being a dad doesn’t negatively impact what kind of partner he is—being a father even positively impacts what kind of partner he is. When women think of dating guys with kids, they just think that they’ll be busy and distracted. They fear there will be drama with the child’s mother, or that the kids will resent a new woman in their dad’s life. But it’s not always like that. Here are reasons you shouldn’t write off a guy with kids.

dating a single dad tips

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He may be better at time management

Busy people are actually the best with time management. Single men with few responsibilities can be terrible at time management. They call you on Friday night to see if you want to go to some show the next day and then—whoops—they realize tickets are sold out. They hadn’t even looked into that until that moment. Dads have to be very good at time management. They’re great with logistics. They will make clear plans in advance with you. They have to, in order to make their lives work.

dating a single dad tips

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He’s clearly responsible

He is raising children, and child services haven’t taken them away from him, so you know he’s responsible. He fought for custody and won. You won’t have to behave like a mother to him, making him go to doctor’s appointments and convincing him to make smarter financial decisions. He’s a dad. He has to do that for his kids, as it is.

 

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dating a single dad tips

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No person is without drama

If you think you’re escaping drama by not dating men with kids, you could be sadly wrong. Every guy will have some drama. An angry ex who is sending you threatening messages. A set of super conservative parents who disapprove of you. At least here, you know what the “drama” is. And it’s contained.

dating a single dad tips

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It’s the wrong non-negotiable

Your non-negotiables should be about character traits, not circumstances. You can’t judge someone entirely by what’s going on in his life. This man with kids may be the most attentive, loving, respectful partner you could ever have. While a single dude could be reckless, bad at communication, and selfish.

dating a single dad tips

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He’ll be so grateful for you

Really, before you, his life was…chaotic, hectic, a blur, busy, all work and no play. He lives for his kids, and he likes that, but you’re like this angel sent from above who reminds him that he still gets to enjoy himself, too. No man will appreciate you like a man with kids.

dating a single dad tips

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It’s hard enough to meet someone

Hey, if you meet a guy you really click with and can’t stop thinking about, don’t write him off just because he has kids. You never know where that relationship could have gone. And you’re delusional to think you have much control over where things go with other men.