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Level Up In Love

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News of Cassie Ventura’s engagement to Alex Fine sent the internet into a frenzy. Not only is the singer and model expecting her first child and preparing to marry the love of her life, but she’s doing so just one year after deading her going-nowhere-fast relationship with Diddy. Cassie is among a host of celebrity women that we’ve recently witnessed reclaim their time after wasting years in trash relationships with undeserving men. One question that is constantly asked surrounding these stories of redemption is “What was her prayer?” It’s a valid question because prayer most certainly works. At the same time, it’s an oversimplification of the issue at hand. If you’re truly looking to level up like Ciara, Karrueche, Christina Milian, and Cassie, it starts with making better choices. Continue reading if you’re ready to live your best f*ckboy-free life.

Level Up In Love

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Close the door for good

The first and most important step on the path to leveling up after a dead-end relationship is to pull the plug on that relationship for good. It’s virtually impossible to build a life with the man or woman of your dreams if you’re always running back to dead things.

I can't stop thinking about it...

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Consider the role you played

It’s very easy to play the victim after a failed relationship, but that will get you nowhere. Both parties play a role in relationships and when you refuse to acknowledge how you contributed to the problem, you’re placing yourself in a position for history to repeat itself.

african woman doing yoga at home

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Give yourself space to heal

It’s best to leave the rebounds to basketball. Hopping from one relationship to the next is unhealthy and is unlikely to lead you to the partner of your dreams. Take the time to heal from what you’ve been through so that you’re fully ready to embrace a healthy partnership when it comes along.

Waking up with a smile

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Shift your focus

Any time finding love is your sole focus in life, you’re going to come up short. While it’s definitely okay to be open to romance and even to actively pursue it, you’ve got to have something else going for yourself. Is there something new you’ve been wanting to accomplish or a new hobby you’ve been thinking about taking up? Do it!

Portrait Of Single Mom Relaxing At home

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Consider your patterns

In the words of Iyanala Vanzant, “You’ve got to do your work.” If you never slow down long enough to think about your patterns in relationships, you’ll likely find yourself in the same predicaments over and over. Acknowledging your own unhealthy relationship habits is a key step to making better decisions. When you know better, you do better.