Perks Of Skipping The Engagement And Just Tying The Knot - Page 8

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I always like to play devil’s advocate when I can, so even though I have written a bit about why some couples regret eloping, I do need to say that I totally see the benefits of skipping the whole long engagement thing and just tying the knot, spontaneously, with your boo. I can see how for some, the pros far outweigh the cons and even if they face some disappointed family members later, it’s all worth it to skip the engagement. When was the last time you met a bride-to-be that wasn’t incredibly stressed out? The whole to-be part has a way of really interfering with one’s regular life. I often look at my partner and say, “I wish we could just be married now. Like, I wish we could just snap our fingers, and be husband and wife.” And he agrees. All of the stuff that has to happen between having that desire and making it a reality is a headache. Here are some serious perks of skipping the engagement and just tying the knot.

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No proposal anxiety

My partner and I, personally, aren’t the type who would do the whole highly orchestrated, surprise proposal thing. It’s not our style, but furthermore, we feel the proposal is a bit antiquated. He doesn’t need to formally ask me to marry him. I’ve already told him a hundred times I’d like to marry him. I am not going to make him get down on one knee. This is an agreement between equals. And a lot of people agree that a proposal just feels…condescending.

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No wedding planning

Think about that for a moment. Just really think about it. Never having to sit down with your partner to decide what color chairs you want or whether to have caviar or smoked salmon appetizers. Think about the hundreds of mini, ridiculous conversations you get to skip. Think of the fights you get to skip.

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Fewer hurt feelings

When you have a wedding, you have to deal with the guest list and that’s a doozey. It teaches you a lot about your relationships. Furthermore, it results in some hurt feelings. But if nobody was invited, then nobody can be upset that they weren’t invited. They weren’t left out of some elite club. Nobody was there but you and your groom.

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No, “So, when’s the wedding?”

You can avoid this annoying question that you get multiple times a day, every day of the engagement. For the first months when you don’t know the answer yet, you feel embarrassed—like you’re under-prepared or you’re not taking the engagement seriously.

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No outside input on venues

Do you know how many people want to tell you where to have your wedding? First off, they have geographical input because nobody wants to buy a plane ticket. Then there are those who push for you to have it at their church or in their back yard. People make it about them.

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No outside input on the dress

Oh and the dress drama—forget it. You can skip spending several thousands of dollars on a dress you’ll never wear again. You can skip panicking over putting on three pounds between getting your fitting and picking up your dress. Just grab a little white cocktail dress from a thrift store and move on.

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No money fights

The financial fights that occur during wedding planning can tear a couple apart. They can tear the families apart. Your parents and his parents are fighting over who will pay for what. It can cause tension that takes years to dissolve.

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No price gouging

You can also skip feeling totally taken advantage of by vendors. Oh, so suddenly since these cookies are for a wedding they go from costing fifty cents each to three dollars each? Terrific.

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No email spamming

The moment you look at one wedding thing online, your ads are swarming with bride stuff. Your Facebook and Instagram are popping off with ads for wedding dresses and bachelorette destinations. The coupons come flooding your email for floral arrangements. Ugh. Skip it.

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Your vows are for you

You don’t need to edit your vows for the pleasure or feelings of any other person besides yourself and your partner. You get to write the most genuine of vows.

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No ticking clock sensation

The moment you announce your engagement, you hear this clock begin to tick. You need to set a date. You need to pick a venue so you can set a date. You need to send out save the date cards so the important people are there. It’s very stressful. If you don’t do the whole engagement thing, that clock never ever starts ticking.

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No obliterating friends’ savings accounts

If you want to be a super considerate bride, just don’t have a wedding! That way, your friends don’t need to buy plane tickets, take time off work, pay for hotel rooms, pay for taxis, and all of that. Just saying.

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Less pressure on “the big day”

The big day isn’t some major event all for the entertainment of other people. You don’t need to worry about what people will say about it. You also won’t feel all of this pressure to have it go perfectly because you won’t have put over a year into planning it. A few hiccups won’t upset you.

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Skip the “Fiance” phase

You don’t have to remember to introduce your partner as your fiancé for months or years. We all know it feels a bit pretentious, but then if we don’t say it, people think we don’t take the engagement seriously.