Source: Westend61 / Getty
I’ve been dealing with some, eh-em, lack of moisture down south recently. I visited my doctor to figure out what it could be about. Honestly, it doesn’t even really bother me because as far as sex goes, there is always store-bought lubricant, and I actually feel fresher and cleaner with a dry va-jay-jay, especially in the summer! That being said, I had to face the fact that it is not normal for a young woman to stop producing her own natural lubricant. I visited my doctor and we got to the bottom of the issue with me, but if you’re struggling with the same problem, the root of the problem may be different for you. There are several causes of vaginal dryness. And, while we’re on the topic, there are a lot of ways it affects your partner—sometimes in funny ways.
via GIPHY
My partner takes it personally
My lack of moisture is a medical thing. It has nothing to do with my not desiring my partner at all. In fact, I am very into him, and am actively ready for intercourse—my arousal level is very high—by the time we have sex. My body still just…doesn’t produce moisture down there. And it’s hard on my man’s ego.
via GIPHY
Antidepressants
Certain antidepressants can cause vaginal dryness. Talk about adding salt to a wound, right? The last thing someone struggling with depression needs is a sub-par sexual experience. If you determine with a doctor that your medication is to blame, consider switching to a different variety, or explore the many wonderful lubricants out there.
via GIPHY
My partner is determined to overcome science
Even though I’ve told my partner many times that I’m into him, that he performs very well in bed, and that I don’t have any arousal issues, he’s determined that he alone can make my natural lubricant come back. He’ll perform foreplay for even longer than I want him to, desperately trying to get water from the well. I just have to pat the poor guy on the head, say, “It’s not you” and hand him a bottle of lube.
via GIPHY
The birth control pill
This was the issue for me: the pill, especially if taken for a long time (in my case, 13 years!) can make you dry up. It messes with your hormones, and as soon as you alter those, you can experience several sexual side effects, one of which is vaginal dryness. My doctor has suggested I switch to an IUD or the shot, as these don’t tend to have as many side effects as the pill. I’m still looking into the IUD to see if it’s for me.
via GIPHY
The IUD frightens my partner
Since the pill is the root of the issue in my relationship, and an IUD is the most likely solution, this caused a conversation with my partner. He says some of his male friends complain they can, um, feel the IUD when they’re having sex with their partners. So he doesn’t want me to get one. I told him, “It’s that, or vaginal dryness.” He got frustrated that he had to choose between the less worse scenario and I got frustrated with him because, hey, it’s my body! How does he think I feel?
via GIPHY
Breastfeeding
Progesterone and estrogen levels can drop drastically after a woman gives birth, and the levels may not stabilize throughout the breastfeeding phase. This can cause vaginal dryness, too.
via GIPHY
As if new parents don’t have it hard enough
I know a few new parents who deal with this issue, and it’s infuriating. They already had to wait a while for the woman’s vagina to heal after childbirth in order to have intercourse again. Then they barely could find the time let alone the energy to do it. So when they did find those rare, precious moments alone to have sex and the woman was…dry…it was hard on morale.
via GIPHY
Allergy medication
Allergy medication aka antihistamines works by drying up all mucus-creating areas, from your nose to your eyes to your well you know. Unfortunately, when it comes time to dry up your body in order to fight allergy symptoms, it’s all or nothing.
via GIPHY
But allergies and arousal never coexist
The summer I had terrible allergies, our sex life took a huge hit. When I’d take allergy medication, it dried me up and made me so alert that I’d be awake for days on end. That didn’t leave me in the mood for sex. If I didn’t take them, I was streaming mucus from all orifices, which didn’t make me feel very sex, either. My boyfriend and I actually just planned a trip to the desert where my allergies aren’t as triggered. We didn’t say, “Let’s go have tons of sex in the desert while we have the chance” but…that’s basically what we did.
via GIPHY
Hysterectomies
If a woman’s ovaries are removed during a hysterectomy, she will likely experience vaginal dryness. Remember that ovaries produce and release progesterone and estrogen, so when the ovaries are gone, so too are normal levels of these hormones.
via GIPHY
Post-op time is complicated
It isn’t just vaginal dryness that interferes with a woman’s sex drive after having a hysterectomy. It’s an emotionally complicated time for a woman. Her sex organs have been removed. That can naturally leave a person questioning a lot of things, including the desire to have sex. Though they aren’t the ones who underwent a major surgery, it’s also a complex time for the male partners. It’s a period of adjustment for everyone, since the understanding that the years of procreation are permanently gone. I know my mother, after her hysterectomy, needed a few years to figure out what life meant to her now. But she did find a new sense of freedom and started having more fun (and sex) again. Of course, I wish I didn’t know that last part.
via GIPHY
Laundry detergent
Some scented laundry detergent can irritate the skin, and actually interfere with our ability to produce our own moisture down south. The chemicals in laundry detergent can irritate the body in many ways, though, so it’s worth it to investigate natural options.
via GIPHY
This info can make for a messy man
When I told my partner that our laundry detergent (we, sadly, used the chemical stuff) may have been interfering with my natural lubricant, he went on strike for cleaning the sheets. “If we just shower a lot there’s really no need to clean the sheets!” he’d say. And, for perhaps the first time ever, he hand-washed some of my delicates, with natural soap of course. I should honestly just make up some lies about how dirty dishes kill arousal and dusty counters make boobs shrink.
via GIPHY
Scented soaps
Scented soap can also irritate the skin, and interfere with your own moisture-producing abilities. I did have this problem years ago with a different partner. He used the cheapest soap he could find at the 99-Cent store and that stuff was not pH-balanced.
via GIPHY
I got to take over the shower
At first I just stopped putting soap down south, but that lead to the infamous incident of my partner having to tell me that my va-jay-jay smelled. So then I explained I needed natural soap if I was going to soap up down there, and I got to take over our shower caddy with all of my favorite products.
