“Does he even care?!” That’s a question that runs through the minds of many women. Every time a man falls short of our expectations in some way, we wonder if he feels any remorse, or any desire to do better next time. I’ve learned from my male friends, and even from men that I used to date, that guys do genuinely wish they were better at these things:
Knowing when to shut up:
Communication is important, but giving it a rest is important too. Men aren’t as good at couching things as women are. They are straight shooters with each other and they don’t always realize that women don’t like to be shot straight at. Men might go off on a tangent letting you know everything you’ve done wrong, or everything wrong with the relationship, without realizing that you get it already, and now you really need him to shut up or you’re just going to burst into tears. They usually feel awful when you start crying though, and wish they’d read the signs to shut up.
Gift giving:
Women read a lot into the gifts they receive, and men know that. A man either thinks “this gift is awesome!” or, he doesn’t think much of it. What he doesn’t think is “does this gift mean she wants to get married soon?” or “does this gift mean she isn’t very serious about me” or “does this gift mean she thinks I need to change the way I dress?!” Women think that though, and men go through a lot of anxiety picking out a gift that won’t provoke those anxieties.
Sexual Stamina:
Unfortunately, when sex is over for the man, it’s usually over for the woman too. That’s just the way our bodies work. Further more, men are often so tired after sex because, let’s face it, they do work a bit harder. But, believe me, they often feel terrible about this.
Showing that he cares:
Women are great at doing little things that show that they care for their man and paying attention to the details of his life. Women think of the tiny favors they can do for a man to make his life easier. Men aren’t as good at paying attention to those details, and each time women do them one of those great favors, they often worry “Shyte, what can I do for her in return?!”
Showing appreciation:
Most nice, caring men worry that they don’t show their women that they appreciate them enough. They realize that you bring so much joy to their life, but they struggle to show their appreciation. Do they plan a surprise vacation? Do they just hug you more? Many men often look at their girlfriend and just think to themselves “she has no idea how much I appreciate her.”
Being clear about his intentions:
Whether that be to take things slow, or get married within the year, most men at some point think “uh oh, I think I’ve lead her on!” or “gotten her hopes up” or “haven’t done a good enough job of showing her how much she means to me.” Men know that women can get carried away sometimes and get ahead of themselves with their expectations, so they worry constantly about being clear about their intentions.
Reading your mind:
You already know this one. Men wish that when they asked you what was wrong and you said “nothing” that they could read your mind. They wish that when they ask what you want for your birthday and you say “nothing” that they could read your mind again. They wish we wouldn’t put them through the guessing game we often do.
More on Madame Noire!
