The Tough Parts Of Being Single Nobody Talks About

being single and lonely

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I in no way want anyone to pity single individuals. I was single for a very long time myself and I did not want anybody’s pity. Furthermore, there are a lot of elements of being single that are actually really great—I even miss them sometimes, as a woman in a relationship, and remember how nice they are when my partner goes out of town for a few days. If you have a good attitude and focus on the positive, it’s easy to find the silver lining in both lifestyles—in being free as a bird, or being in a committed relationship. Now all of that being said, I also recall being single and feeling like my friends in relationships just absolutely glorified the single life. Like anything, it has its tough moments, too. Again, this isn’t about pitying single individuals. But if you do have a close friend or someone you care about who is single, maybe keep her in mind when these things come up. Just check in. Here are the tough parts of being single nobody talks about.

Affording rent alone is a nightmare

I don’t know about you, but my rent is very high. There is no way I could afford to live alone in my city—at least not if I wanted to live in a place that is safe, nice, and decently sized. If you’re single and live in a high-rent city, you either struggle to put aside any money after rent, or have to get a roommate. And that might mean doing the whole Craigslist roommate search thing. Yikes.

Living alone as a woman can be scary

Even if you know all of the ways to improve your safety as a woman living alone, that doesn’t change the fact that living with someone always makes you feel a bit more comfortable. When I did live alone, I loved the freedom until I heard a bump in the night. Then I realized how nice it would have been to have somebody else around.

Meeting delivery minimums alone

Let’s not forget about the pesky delivery minimums so many food delivery services and restaurants require. They’re easy to meet when you order food with someone, but when you order alone, you’re suddenly left eating pizza or Pad Thai all week long because you had to meet that damn delivery minimum.

You take care of yourself when you’re sick

You just have to care for yourself when you’re sick. You don’t have somebody there, ready to bring you a glass of water or some soup any time you call. You have to drive yourself to the pharmacy, sick and feverish, to get medication—unless you want to pay PostMates to do it for you.

You feel bad that your parents worry

You know that your parents worry about you being single. They worry about you living alone. They worry about you feeling lonely. You don’t really worry about any of that that much but you feel guilty knowing they worry about it.

Traveling alone can get tedious

Traveling alone is mostly a lot of fun. You’re free to go where you want when you want. The times it gets to be not-so-great is when you’re alone in a new place where you don’t speak the language or know the customs, and have nobody to help you but yourself. Or, when you’re just dealing with super long flights, layovers, and train rides, with nobody’s shoulder to sleep on and nobody to watch your stuff when you go to the bathroom.

Going home to an empty place isn’t easy

Going home to an empty place can be nice…until it isn’t. There are some nights you wouldn’t mind coming home to somebody to talk to. You don’t necessarily want to call a friend and make plans. It would be nice if somebody was just there, and there wasn’t even the pressure to do anything entertaining.

**You must have holiday plans**

A couple can stay in for the holidays. They can share a bottle of champagne, make dinner, and everyone thinks it’s sweet. If you stay in alone on a major holiday, people think it’s very sad. And, you feel a bit sad, too. So you must go out even if you don’t feel like it.

In fact, you must have a lot of plans

In general, you have to keep yourself pretty busy if you don’t want to get lonely or feel sorry for yourself. You keep an active social calendar so you don’t have time to feel lonely. But, being out and about all of the time can get exhausting. Couples get to stay home and Netflix and Chill most nights and nobody thinks that’s sad.

Pet care is tougher

If you have a pet, you don’t have that built-in help of a partner. You have to befriend the neighbors and swap favors with them, giving them your spare key, or hire some dog walking service. You can’t just call your boyfriend and ask, “Will you be home tonight? Great—can you feed Fido?”

All the unwanted setups

Let’s not forget about all of the people who keep trying to set you up—with or without your consent. You can’t count the number of times you’ve gone to a dinner party and realized the hosts invited just one other single individual there, hoping you two would hit it off. So you felt pressure to talk to him all night.

You go stag to a lot of weddings

A lot of marrying couples only give out plus-ones to serious couples. That’s not you. So you have to go alone to a lot of weddings. You mostly enjoy the freedom of this, though it can be exhausting feeling like you must mingle the whole time if you don’t want to sit all by yourself looking sad.

Oh, and you pay for wedding gifts (and all gifts) alone

You don’t have someone to split wedding gifts, engagement gifts, bridal shower gifts, baby shower gifts, and gender reveal party gifts with. You’re all on your own with those, and they add up.

Any near-death experience at home

That time you’re home, all alone, enjoying your evening when you suddenly nearly choke on an olive. You are rapidly overcome with the fear that you could die in your apartment and nobody would even notice until the place began to smell.

Feeling like you’re a catch who’s wasted

Real talk, sometimes you just look in the mirror and think, “It’s a shame nobody is enjoying this. I’m a catch.” But you also haven’t found anyone worthy of you yet.

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