10 Black Men Discuss Why They Dream Of Being Fathers One Day

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Jeffrey Dolliole, 30, Married

My inspiration to become a father stems from my relationship with my own father. I owe the man that I am today to the morals, values, and characteristics instilled in me through him. The interactions my father has had with both my sister and I have shown me the array of emotions that come with fatherhood. I am eagerly awaiting the opportunity to mold a life in this world alongside my beautiful wife. It is an honor and responsibility that I am truly looking forward to and am ready to accept. Raising a child is one of the most selfless acts one can make, and I just hope that I am half the father that my father was to me. My goal is to implant the best of me into my children so that they can become the best versions of themselves. As the Frank Pittman quote states, “fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.”

@jmd_5

Source: Courtesy of participants

Alvin Dike, 31

I want to become a father someday because It’s a beautiful thing. I’m looking forward to experiencing that unconditional love and bond that exists between a father and their child.  There is an added motivation, meaning in life, and joy being a father brings. You instantly turn into superhero. I admire the way my niece and nephew look at my brother, even the way they look at me. They look up to you, rely on you to be there for them, and need you to show them how to be good human beings. Innately you become a better person in the process because your perspective of life totally changes. I look forward to writing my own legacy and passing that on to future generations.

@dralvindike

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Kyle Hutton, 30

When I was a toddler growing up on the Caribbean island of Trinidad, I distinctly remember idolizing my father. In a world where both fatherhood and equitable partnership seemed optional for men, he stood out as a man who devoted his life to his children. Not only was he fully present in my life, but he also made sacrifices to ensure I would achieve the early academic success that serves as the foundation for the life I enjoy today. Consequently, as I reflect on my own life, becoming a father and husband have become core life milestones I seek to attain as I enter my 30s. The ability to be fundamental in shaping the life trajectory of my son(s) and daughter(s) is both a privilege and responsibility that brings me immense joy for 3 reasons:

Legacy is important to me. I view my life as a mere chapter in the story of future, unborn Hutton generations. Being a father is essential in this journey, and I treasure the opportunity to instill some of the values that my parents taught me.

Society’s longevity depends on productive, well-meaning humans who seek to contribute in a net positive way. The role that values-driven individuals (my future children included) will play in shaping a world where humans begin to elevate others instead of isolating groups as “others”, will therefore become extremely important.

On a more personal level, I look forward to those life milestones that will inevitably bring smiles to my children’s faces as they fearlessly pursue lofty dreams that will make a difference in this world.

@kyle_hutz

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Marc Howland, 30, Engaged

As a young boy, I thought my dad was THAT GUY. Strong, smart, athletic, cool. I treasured every moment I shared with him (minus the spankings), especially when we would play sports together. He would work me through intense drills, pushing me to be my best. When I caught an attitude, he would be quick to hit me with a “stop moping, just work.” He was a football star, and so I wanted to be great like him to make him proud. I lost my father when I was eleven years old. It devastated me, and I miss him every day.

I imagine the first time holding my child in my arms being a transcendent moment, a moment that exemplifies what it means to be human, man, and protector. Life will probably take new meaning, a meaning much greater than myself, and I am excited to share that new chapter with my future wife. I am excited for fun, family time, extracurriculars and vacations. I am excited to share my own stories and experiences and nurture the life of another human being that is my own flesh and blood. I can’t wait to be a support system, every step of the way.

@March_216

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Denzyl Amankwah, 28

I remember when I was younger, one thing I would always look forward to is hearing the door open when my dad walked in from a long day’s work. I would run from one end of the house to the other, at an Usain Bolt level speed, to jump into his arms. I have the pleasure of being a Godfather to a young three-year-old boy. The last time he visited me, he did that same run into my arms that allowed me to feel that joy on the other end for the first time. I often say the world isn’t ready for my second coming. When that time comes,I look forward to having somebody that looks up to me as their protector and mentor.

@Denz_Aman

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Ekow Essel, 30

Let me first start by saying that I’m first generation Ghanaian-American. There are a lot of preconceived notions about what it means to grow up with immigrant parents with varying degrees of truth. Some common tropes of the African Dad are that he is overbearing, never satisfied, and not accustomed to displaying affirming emotions. While the first two characteristics weren’t my reality, the third was all too real. This played a major impact in many early relationships I had. I’m older now, and understand that my father was simply mirroring behavior taught to him in the same way I was. There are many reasons why I want to be a father, but a major driver is the opportunity to teach my children about emotional intelligence, and how it’s okay to productively lean into how they are feeling. I feel that, as a man, it’s important for me to help break the cycle of male emotional detachment by effectively modeling good behavior for my future children.

@mr_ekow

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Corbin Booker, 26

I’m looking forward to being a dad (eventually, not now) because I get excited about the opportunity to teach and care for my own kids one day. I think its a blessing that we get to take part in caring for new life, so I want to give it everything that I had fortune of having and more. This is the legacy that I can help shape and impact directly with my actions and behavior. I think about how independent I want my future kids to be, to be able to talk with me, understand how to respect others and assess different situations without overpowering them. I want them to know that any opportunity they want to have, they can achieve and I will support them.  Being able to love and support them isn’t a burden it’s a blessing; I’ll be staring at little mes and want nothing else but to give them everything they need to make a positive impact on the world.

@corbbeenlit

Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants

Jonathan Edwards, 32, Engaged

I am both excited and a little terrified to become a dad. The fear comes from the unknown challenges that I know I can’t protect them from. Everyone endures some hardship and suffering to grow, but selfishly, I want to protect my offspring from the hurt and just give them the lessons. That said, I am very excited for the lessons I will share with them, because there is so much to be said.

I will do everything to ensure they grow up feeling safe, supported, loved and confident, so it’s almost like an experiment, you know? I am intentionally doing the work now to uncover and end any sort of generational trauma that has trickled down my bloodline, so I am so curious to see what that freedom looks like on baby girl and baby boy.

The other piece, I am excited to see my partner as a mother to our kids. Co-parenting! I will have to learn to share her attention and grow into a less selfish version of myself, but literally building our family, our kingdom, is a new level of intimacy that I want to experience with her.

@jed540

Source: Courtesy Of The Participant / Courtesy Of The Participant

Richaun Wilson, 33

I believe being single sometimes prohibits us from the ideologies of what fatherhood looks like or could be. However, attaining success personally, financially, educationally, and career-wise, paired with my spiritual, moral, and ethical foundation, the yearning for fatherhood has emerged more than the idea of marriage.

With that being said, I aspire to be a great father and dad holistically. I want to provide a solid foundation for a child and allow growth organically with guidance. There isn’t a rubric or guide for parenthood, but with discernment and a great village/support system, I aspire to be the dad that I had growing up plus more.

@iamrichaun