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In a lot of ways, relationships have made progress over the last couple of decades. I think it’s a good thing that people don’t feel like they must be married by their mid-twenties and finished having children by their early thirties. I think it’s good that we have realized most people don’t even know who they are until mid-twenties. In fact, research has found that the brain and our decision-making skills specifically develop until we are about 25 years old. So thank goodness we don’t feel the pressure we used to to make permanent decisions by our early twenties like choosing a life partner or procreating. That being said, sometimes I think the freedom to take things slowly is also the cause of the uprise of the man-child. Some men are taking too much advantage of the fact that nobody expects them to grow up early, so they are never growing up at all. While boyishness can be cute, it walks a fine line with the man child. And you want nothing to do with him. Here are signs of a man child to look out for.
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He begs and whines for sex
When you’re not in the mood to do it, the man child throws a tantrum. He complains. He’s in a bad mood the whole night, cranky and cold for not getting what he wants. He punishes you for not having sex, by being moody.
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An adult man does not whine
He either knows how to seduce you, or he knows when to take the hint and wait for another time. But he doesn’t throw a tantrum like a little child whose candy has been taken away.
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He avoids conflict
Don’t let a man make you feel like you are high maintenance just because you need to discuss an issue. That is a telltale sign of a man child. He’ll tell you that you are being too much. He will tell you he doesn’t want to fight. And he won’t engage in the argument.
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Sometimes arguing is part of an adult relationship
An adult man will take it seriously if you have an issue to bring up. He’ll hear you out. He won’t bounce and tell you to just get over it on your own. He knows that your problems are his problems and he should engage in the discussion.
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He tries to get out of responsibilities
The man child will see how he can get away with doing as little as possible. If you need a ride to the airport, he will have 10 excuses as to why he can’t do it. If you need help painting your apartment, he has a million reasons he just can’t be there.
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A grown ass man finds reasons to be helpful
In fact, an adult man is helpful without even being asked. He looks for ways to make your life easier. He bends over backwards to be of assistance, as opposed to the man child, who bends over backwards to get out of helping.
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He aims to make you jealous
If a man child does something that could be perceived as unfaithful, like write a flirtatious comment on a woman’s photo, he pushes the limits. When you say it makes you uncomfortable, he leans on the excuse that that is not technically cheating.
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A grown man wants you to feel safe and comfortable
He doesn’t even try to walk the line of infidelity. He doesn’t even go close to that line. He certainly does not see how much he can get away with because it is not technically cheating.
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A man child sees your career as a hindrance
All a man child wants to do is play. He sees you as a toy. So if you can’t join him for fun because you are caught up in an exciting work project, he isn’t excited for you. He is not proud of you. He only complains that you won’t go with him to play.
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A grown man knows how important your career is
If you have to sit out some fun because an opportunity comes up, a real man doesn’t think just of how that affects his night. He is proud of you. Sure he wishes you could join him, but he sees the bigger picture.
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He lets you pay every time
I understand in this age of feminism men are not expected to pay every time. But nobody should be paying every time. A man child will let you foot the bill every time, because you have a lot more money than he does and you offer to.
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A real man is ashamed to let a woman pay for his life
If he can’t afford an expensive dinner, a real man will just suggest a place he can afford. He won’t just let you foot the bill at the expensive places. Real men want to be able to provide for their partners, even if that means living on a budget. A real man will cook you dinner if he can’t afford to take you out. He won’t just let you pay over and over again.
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He won’t discuss emotions
Ironically, man children subscribe to antiquated toxic masculinity. They think to be masculine means to never discuss emotions. If you try to ask them about their feelings, they will become irritated with you, as if you are crossing a line. They leave you feeling like you did something wrong.
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A real man is comfortable with his emotions
A real man will cry if it is warranted. He will tell you when he feels down. He will tell you when he’s feeling insecure. He gives you a chance to help him, rather than shut you out.
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Or, a man child will splash his feelings everywhere
There is one other type of mentality. A man child can be a little bit too comfortable with his emotions. He may have been a spoiled child whose tantrums were never dealt with. He will go to your friend’s birthday party or your parents’ dinner party pouting and in a bad mood about whatever happened to him that day. He will not control his emotions, even if that means ruining everyone else’s night.
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An adult man addresses his emotions
An adult man admits what he’s feeling, but he also knows there is a time and place for emotions. He won’t ruin everyone’s night by being moody.
