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I’ve heard it said that the very thing that attracts you to your life partner—the quality that stands out to you the most and draws you in—will also be the impetus for most arguments and tension in your relationship. And that’s because, really, every personality trait, just like a coin, has two sides. There are times when that trait may be a strength, but there are also times when that trait may be a weakness. I know for myself, personally, one of those traits is my enthusiasm. I’m usually up to try anything and love to get excited about new possibilities. I will also, because of that same enthusiasm, sometimes rush into things without doing much planning, which can leave me, and others around, me disappointed. My partner’s double-edged trait is his sensitivity. I immediately fell in love with him for it—he is very emotionally intelligent and in-touch with the feelings of those around him. Of course, being sensitive has its downsides, too. Here are the pros and cons of being with a sensitive man.
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He doesn’t take your issues lightly
If you are going through something difficult, emotionally, he doesn’t treat it lightly. He really understands how emotional turmoil can mess with a person. He is all ears and very open to talking things out with you until you feel better.
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But, he can make more of it than it is
Of course, when you want to brush things off—and, some things warrant just getting passed—he still wants to discuss it. He doesn’t believe that, sometimes, even if something apparently difficult happened, you really are okay and don’t need to discuss it. He’ll make a bigger deal out of it than you are.
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He’s in-tune with others’ emotions
He’s very aware of the emotional needs of those around him. In social settings, he can tell when someone feels left out or has been upset by something, and he’ll try to fix the situation.
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He can be upset by others’ emotions
The downside of being very aware of others’ emotions is that, when he can’t make things better, it drives him crazy. If he can’t cheer someone up, it will eat at him and take over his thoughts.
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He takes great care to make good first impressions
He really cares about making good first impressions, about putting new friends at ease, and making new friends feel welcomed. He is a good listener, and adapts to situations to make others comfortable.
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He can obsess over “bad” first impressions
Look: sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just won’t get some people to like you or understand you. I get that. My partner, however, really struggles with that concept. If he feels he didn’t make a great first impression this, too, will eat at him for days.
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He’ll stay home to comfort you
He treats emotional events as a real problem. If I’m going through something tough, he’ll stay home to comfort me if he can. He doesn’t just write it off as, “Just a feeling.” If I need him, he’ll be there for me.
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He must stay home when he’s upset
If my partner is upset about something, he may sit out our plans—plans like going to a friend’s house for a barbecue or going to a friend’s birthday party. He struggles to compartmentalize and just put the issue aside for a few hours to enjoy an activity.
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When he focuses on you, he’s very focused
When we talk about things like our hopes or anxieties, he’s fully present. He’s an excellent listener and really works to understand what I’m saying—and even what I leave unsaid.
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When he’s upset, he’s very distracted
When he is upset, he’s very distracted. It’s almost like I live alone because he barely hears anything I say. He’s a total zombie, consumed with whatever is bothering him.
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You must be very diplomatic
I am just not wired to be as diplomatic as he is. If I hear something—juicy gossip, a very sad story, or a terrible update—I can’t help but just blurt it out. But, I do owe him the same diplomacy he gives me, so I have to work on that.
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He is a joy to be around
He’s genuinely a joy to be around. He wears his heart on his sleeve, so I never wonder what he’s thinking, and is emotionally open and vulnerable. I feel very close to him because he is so sensitive.
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He can’t be around insensitive people
He lacks some of the emotional armor to be around people who are, let’s say, not very sensitive or just generally abrasive. I have to shield him from friends or family members of mine who are like that.
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He’ll ease your anxieties
If I am feeling anxious, he knows just what to say to help me. He goes into full caretaker mode. He’s been there so, he gets it.
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He can’t be around anxiety
I am not a generally anxious person, so he is fine with helping me on the rare occasion I become anxious. But, my boyfriend cannot handle being around generally anxious personality types—those who overthink things and fret about everything. Their energy rubs off on him too easily.
