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It may sound crazy or like the plot of some quirky romantic comedy in which a prince pretends to be a shoe cobbler, just to test the true intentions of his bride to be, but it happens: super wealthy men will go through all sorts of schemes to ensure the women they attract aren’t attracted to them just for their money. There are, of course, plenty of men out there who intentionally use their money to get women—but we aren’t talking about them. They are insecure and manipulative. Well, alright, men who run tests to make sure women actually like them for who they are are also a bit insecure and manipulative, but you can’t blame them. When someone is very wealthy, it can be hard for him to trust someone’s true intentions. And it’s not exactly like they can be completely open books about their lifestyles, while still getting a good feel for someone’s intentions. So, believe it or not, I have seen it happen: here are tests men put women through to make sure they aren’t gold diggers.
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Lie about what they do
A few very successful men I know lie, at least on the first few dates, about what they do for a living. If they stated the real thing, they know their date would just see money signs, immediately. So, they fudge the title a bit, and keep it vague, until they can figure out the date’s true intentions.
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Take you to fast food on a first date
I know one very wealthy man who can’t quite hide the fact that he’s successful (he’s a celebrity chef so the proof is on television) but he still runs his own little tests by taking first dates to McDonalds. I’m totally serious. A gourmet, top chef takes his dates to McDonalds to see how they respond.
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Postulate a new career path
One friend of mine suspected his partner might be with him just for his money, so he started saying things like, “I’m thinking about quitting my job to become a musician…” Luckily, she responded by saying, “I’ll support you either way” and passed the test.
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Ask, “Would you date a poor man?”
It’s a bit on the nose, but I’ve actually had men ask me this question on first dates—twice! It’s a sort of backwards, sneaky way of asking, “Will you only date wealthy men?”
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“Forget” their wallet
I have a friend who is very well-off and he pretends to forget his wallet on first dates, just to see how his dates respond. If they’re clearly disgusted and behave entitled about it, he doesn’t ask them on a second date.
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Ask what your dream job is
Asking a woman what her dream job is is a great way to get to know her! It’s also a thing some wealthy men do to see if a woman is all about money. If she can’t really state what she’d love to do but rather how much she’d like to make, there’s the answer. There’s a difference between, “I’d love to write short stories” and “I’d like to be a famous author.”
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Ask what you’d do with a million dollars
Buy a jet? A private island? Get a personal concert from Beyonce? The correct answer lies somewhere between invest smartly and donate generously.
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Introduce you to their scruffier friends
I have one successful male friend who will introduce dates to his, um, scruffier group of friends, first. He is down to earth and doesn’t only associate with other super-wealthy men. And he first introduces his dates to his friend who still lives with his mom and his friend who waits tables and has five roommates.
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Hide their apartment
One guy I dated wouldn’t take me to his apartment for a long time. We spent nights together—but always at my place. I eventually realized that was because he had a condo, on the beach, with a full-time housekeeper.
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Dress down—way down
Several men I know do this regularly, whether they’re on a date or just out and about: they dress like scrubs. They wear t-shirts with holes in them and no-name-brand jeans. They don’t like the types of women their suits and designer clothes attract.
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Pretend money is tight right now
This one is sneaky and a little bit calculating: my friend’s fiancé, who is quite wealthy, told her for the first few months they were dating that money was very tight and he couldn’t afford to do real date nights. They mostly ordered pizza and watched Netflix. It turns out he was very wealthy the whole time and testing her.
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Say they came from little
If the man comes from a wealthy family, I’ve known men to pretend they came from very little. They’ll fabricate complete backstories about living in terrible neighborhoods, only to later reveal that their family are members of two country clubs.
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Say they want to be a SAHD
While there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad, some men who don’t want to be one pretend they do, just to see how their dates react. If a woman is hoping she’ll be the stay at home one while her partner makes all the money, she doesn’t respond fondly.
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Drive a worse car
One of my friends goes so far as to drive his crappy old car that he’s had since college on first dates. He has a brand new very nice car, but he hides it until he knows a woman better.
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Ask what you see in them
Sometimes, men will just ask, “So, what were you drawn to in me?” as a test. Gold diggers will fumble and flounder in the face of this question because they can’t say, “Your money.”
