Things Men Do When They Want You To Feel Secure - Page 15

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I’ve been fortunate enough to find a man who is comfortable enough in himself to be vulnerable with me. I never question what he’s feeling, what he’s thinking, what his intentions are, or whether or not I can count on him. I feel completely safe in this relationship. I know I can count on him for anything. It’s funny because, really only once I found a man who truly makes me feel secure did I realize just how insecure I felt in my previous relationships. If you would have asked me at the time, when I was dating my exes, whether or not I could count on them for just about anything, I would have said, “Of course!” But, I didn’t really know it in my bones the way I do with my current partner. I know this relationship is his top priority, just as it is my top priority. I never worry he’ll let me down or be dishonest, and that’s due to his actions. Here are things a man does when he wants you to feel secure.

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Consult you before traveling

If he’s thinking about going on a trip—whether that’s to visit his family at home or go on a boys’ weekend with his best friends—he consults me first about the timing of that trip. He just wants to make sure there wasn’t something important I wanted him to attend with me during that time, or that it wasn’t a time I was going to really need his support and comfort for something. I pretty much always say, “Yes! Take the trip!” He doesn’t have to ask, but it certainly feels better than him just telling me, “I’m going on this trip. It’s already booked.”

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Check in throughout the day

A man who wants you to feel secure in the relationship checks in throughout the day. It could just be little texts or emails, but he doesn’t just go ghost for eight to ten hours at a time. He wants you to know you’re always a part of his life and on his mind, even when you can’t be together. It’s the shady men who go ghost for eight hours at a time. They likely live some sort of double life.

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Making plans with you is a priority

My partner makes a point to sit down and look at his calendar every few weeks, identify pockets of time we can spend special time together, and book date nights with me. He doesn’t just let life take over his calendar and say, “Whoops. I guess we won’t have a date night for three months.”

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Talk to you about major decisions

Whether it’s a career change, cutting of a friendship, or making an investment, a man who wants you to feel secure talks to you about major decisions. He wants you to know he’s always aware that his decisions impact you, and that he respects your opinion and input.

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Reconsider disrespectful friends

If your partner notices someone in his life is disrespectful of you—from a family member to a friend—he addresses the situation. If it’s a family member, he talks to them about being kinder to you. If it’s a friend, he may even reconsider if that’s someone with whom he wants to be friends. Either way, he doesn’t just leave you to fend for yourself in these situations.

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Introduce you to all female friends

He introduces you to all of his female friends so you can see there’s nothing going on there. He knows he doesn’t have to do this, but he wants to because he likes doing all he can to make you feel at ease. It’s the men who rely on the excuse, “I don’t have to introduce you to all my female friends” who you need to worry about.

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Have transparency about the past

He’s very open about his past. He’ll answer any questions you feel compelled to ask. Naturally, people don’t need to know everything about their partner’s pasts, but if you really feel you need to know something, your partner will tell you.

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Incorporate you in their future

He will talk to you about the future. More importantly, when he discusses the future he envisions for himself, you’re always a part of that vision. If he, for example, likes the idea of living on a ranch one day, he’ll say little things like, “And you’d love it because we could get you tons of animals.”

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Care for their own safety

Men who want you to feel safe make sure to watch out for their own safety, too. They won’t do things that put their safety at risk for no good reason at all, like street race or engage in fistfights.

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Display their love publicly

Naturally, a guy who wants you to feel secure will show his affection for you in front of others. This spans everything from kissing in public to posting photos on social media of the two of you. Even if he’s a little uncomfortable with this, he’d rather endure that discomfort than make you feel unloved by refusing to participate in PDA with you.

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Put a label on it

A man who wants you to feel secure will—for goodness sake—put a label on your relationship. He won’t dodge your questions about, “What are we?” Never tolerate a man who won’t put a label on it. He doesn’t care about your sense of security.

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Tell you you’re important

A good partner should tell you regularly how important you are to him. He should make sure you know, every day, how much you contribute to his happiness and how much he appreciates your presence in his life.

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Make plans in advance

Any man worth his salt will make plans in advance with you. That means booking a cruise with you that’s a few months away or buying tickets to a concert that’s not until next season. If he knows he’s in this for the long run, there’s no reason he shouldn’t make such concrete plans with you.

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Care for your family and friends

He should show care for your family and friends. That means not getting out of obligations with them or finding ways to avoid helping them move. It means being there for them during tough times. He embraces your family and friends as his own, and cares just as much for their wellbeing as you do.