Annoying Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret

Annoying Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret - Page 9

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One of the beautiful things about having been with and lived with a man for a long time now is that I’ve gotten an insight into the male mind. I haven’t just learned about the way my boyfriend thinks, but I’ve also learned about the way his friends think. Since I’ve been with my guy for so long now, and his friends come over all of the time, his buddies have started to see me as a safe person to open up to. They’ve put their guards down. They know I’m not going to go running to the women they’re dating and reveal their deepest most vulnerable secrets. They know I’m on their side. I’m a confidante. And, through that, I’ve finally come to understand certain male actions and words that, as a single woman, I totally didn’t get. It turns out some of the things some men do aren’t as bad as we think. I said some of the things that some men do—just to be clear. Here are things men do that women often misinterpret.

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Cancelling after a bad day

In the early stages of my relationship, after a very bad day, my boyfriend would just cancel our plans to see each other and ask if we could reschedule. It would upset me—I’d think ,“Why won’t he let me be there for him? Is he trying to keep an emotional distance?”

They want to protect you

My boyfriend finally explained that he just tries to protect me from his bad moods. After a crappy day, he’s worried that he won’t be able to contain his angst and may accidentally be short with me or cold towards me. He’d rather just hide away until he can be his best self. He would, of course, love my comfort and company but he also knows it could be selfish, since he may just be a jerk.

Turning down sex

The first time my boyfriend turned down sex, I panicked. Big time. I thought, “This is it. It’s over. This was just a fling. The chemistry is gone and we have nothing else!” (Yes, I was a bit dramatic). But, I thought for sure, “Men always want to have sex so if he says no, he’s just not into me anymore. Period.”

They can feel emotionally distant

So, it turns out that men don’t always want to have sex. If they’re going through something difficult, they feel emotionally removed from their partners. When my partner is under a lot of stress, he doesn’t want to have sex because he feels weird/bad about being physically close to me when he knows he’s so mentally far away. He says it feels like a lie. That is actually rather considerate, when you think about it.

They’d rather call when they can be present

Men are just not as good at texting as women are. Men don’t like texting as much as women do. My boyfriend does, however, like receiving my texts—they make him smile, he says. But he’s not great at formulating the type of response my text deserves, in the little time he has to text. He’d rather just wait to talk until he can call me at the end of the day and be fully present.

Keeping certain friends away

There are some friends that my boyfriend kept away from me for the first couple years of us dating. I thought this was some way of him keeping a distance from me—a way of keeping our relationship casual. I also wondered if he just totally misbehaves himself with these friends, like they’re bad influences.

They don’t want us to be insulted

I eventually learned that my boyfriend can behave himself around these friends but they are, truth be told, his more, errr, brute-ish friends. They say and do things that might gross me out. He’s known them forever, and finds them endearing, but he also doesn’t want them accidentally insulting me.

They don’t want our pity

It turns out that my boyfriend just has some things happen at work that he worries would make me sad. He’s had bosses and colleagues that haven’t spoken to him nicely or just generally gone through some rough situations. He didn’t want my pity, so he thought it was better to just not discuss his work.

Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret