5 Things I Wish I Had In My Hospital Bag (And 5 Things I Didn't Need)

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A realistic going home outfit (for both you and baby)

If your high-waisted jeans made it to delivery day, you can rest assured that they won’t be worn home. As much as I wanted to look like I hopped off a magazine cover with a fresh set of stitches from my c-section, all I wanted to do was throw on something loose and comfortable that didn’t rub against my abdomen. Snapbacks are cool and all, but being comfortable and not trying to balance a newborn in wedge sandals is better. Make sure to pack a comfy sweatsuit for yourself or something else that is easy to move around in and doesn’t confine what will probably be a somewhat sore body. Baby will probably want nothing more than a onesie or a cute 2-piece-set. They’ve been swaddled in the womb for almost a year and the last thing they’ll want are those Baby Gap skinny jeans hugging their chubby little legs.

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Your preferred brand of maxi pads

I was impressed when my delivery hospital sent me home fairly stocked with both the diaper brand and formula I intended to get for my daughter, but when it comes to feminine products, don’t expect the name brands you might be used to. Postpartum bleeding will require a heavy duty sanitary napkin regardless of if you’ve had a c-section or a vaginal delivery. However, if you want wings, or any kind of modern absorption technology, stock up on the Kotex overnights before you get to delivery day.

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Body jewelry alternatives

This is something I would’ve appreciated a heads up about. My navel piercing was long gone ever since my baby bump began to eclipse over my waistline my second trimester. However, with no plans to breastfeed, I held on to my nipple piercings for the longest. When I got to the hospital for delivery day, I was promptly asked to remove my surgical steel gauges. Now, if you aren’t familiar with the wild world of body piercing, any pierced place on the body that has significant blood flow will close up quickly if jewelry isn’t in place as the body attempts to heal itself. Knowing this, I was super hesitant to take them out (the doctor communicated the request as a precautionary measure in case a defibrillator needed to be used), but it was either body piercings or a safe arrival for my newborn. Check to see if body piercings will be an issue with your delivery since different protocol may be in place depending on your provider. Plastic gauges can often be used in place if metal is not allowed.

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A no-fuss hairstyle

This was one I actually nailed as a first-time mom. I had a scheduled c-section, so I knew more than likely there wouldn’t be whole lot of huffing, puffing, sweating or squatting taking place. Still, after giving birth for the first time the last thing I gave a damn about was perfecting baby hairs or getting my French braid on. A word of caution: Leave the Diana Ross bundles home and perfect that top knot now. The exhaustion that comes with childbirth is real whether you’re in labor for 12 hours or only have a blue curtain between you and your exposed abdominal muscles. You’ll be just as cute in some cornrows or box braids. If you must, throw your best wig in the bag.

A few things you can leave at home:

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Your make-up bag

A little lip gloss, maybe some pressed powder, you may even fill in your brows a bit, but leave the lashes and the whole Urban Decay Naked collection at home. I barely wanted to leave my bed after my c-section and a good portion of my day after giving birth was spent regaining sensation in my legs from the spinal block. Highlighting and contouring will probably be far from your radar when you’re contemplating the removal of a catheter. But what about you slaying your maternity pics? Personally, to this day, I enjoy seeing my edges looking a mess and my eyebrows barely filled in as I gaze into my daughter’s face. It makes the moment more real and honest to me. It’s almost like when you see those Instagram models looking posed as hell with a fully beat face but washing dishes. You’re a new mom, you can afford to take a few days off from being a MUA.

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Diapers, wipes and other baby basics

Many prenatal providers will give you with more than enough information about what delivery day and your stay at the hospital will look like. Diapers, formula (if needed) and pacifiers (if needed) are typically a given, but if you’re not sure, check with your hospital so you can save yourself a ton of money and time in Target. Toiletries are typically provided as well, so unless you have to have Crest and Dove soap in your morning routine, don’t stress if these things get forgotten last minute. Also, keep in mind that you’ll be in the hospital for no longer than 3 days or so given you have a routine, healthy delivery so you’ll be home in no time if your accommodations pale in comparison to the Waldorf-Astoria.

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Books or anything to keep you entertained besides your phone

Like I mentioned, as much as you may be feeling brave and empowered (as you should because delivering a baby is a big deal), you’re probably not going to be up to getting through too many chapters of Michelle Obama’s “Becoming.” (Shout out to the mamas completing their senior thesis in between contractions, and even Supacent who finalized a whole business deal right before her daughter made her entry into the world.) However, it’s OK if all you want to do is sleep after giving birth or complain between each contraction. Trust, me once you have the pitter patter of little feet running through your house, even light reading will be a challenge. You might as well prepare yourself now.

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Jewelry, large amounts of cash and other valuables

We all can’t have an armed birthing suite that takes up a whole floor of a hospital. In fact, some of us may even have a roommate freaking out about first-time motherhood right next to us. However, keep in mind that during your stay between visitors, hospitality and medical staff there will be a lot of people in and out your room and the last thing you want to be worried about are missing or lost valuables. The only bling by your bedside should be those ice chips you’ll probably request throughout your labor.

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Your birth plan

A good friend of mine who is also an experienced L&D nurse once told me that all nurses have an inside joke that the best thing for moms-to-be to do is leave their birth plan at home and forget about it because providers surely will. It was a joke but she did stress that labor and delivery can be unpredictable and often women get so committed to intentions like natural birth, breastfeeding or banning pacifiers from their newborn’s presence that they often make those first few days of motherhood more difficult than they have to be by having unrealistic expectations. Communicating with your doctor during prenatal care is key so that your non-negotiables are made clear, but be open-minded to the fact that birth can go in an entirely different direction than planned. As black women especially, it’s important that we communicate with our support people and medical team about anything we think might interfere with a safe and healthy delivery or what we need to feel comfortable and supported. However, if epidural is looking like an attractive option after a few contractions, remember a change here or there doesn’t have to mean a difficult or unpleasant delivery.

Toya Sharee is a sexual health expert who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoyJoy. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.