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national proposal day 2019

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Do you want to know why some proposals go terribly wrong? It’s because some people don’t do their research before popping the question. Ultimately, it’s the marriage—of course—that is the most important thing. The proposal is just a moment. But, it’s a rather important moment and if it isn’t well planned, there might not be any marriage to follow. If you’re a man wanting to propose to your girlfriend, remember that some women have dreamed their whole lives of this moment and they have certain expectations. Also remember that, whether or not they’ve always dreamed of this moment, some women just have certain things they don’t like—certain things that would make them nervous or feel caught off guard. In honor of National Proposal Day, here are things you should know about her before popping the question.

 

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Does she want to get married?

Have you even discussed getting married with this person? Hopefully the topic has come up, at least once, and you’ve both proven to be warm on the idea. This proposal should not be the first time the idea of marriage has ever even come up in this relationship.

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Is now a good time?

What’s going on in her life? If she’s under a lot of stress at work, taking on more than she ever has, then a proposal may just cause her further stress right now. Remember that you’re not just asking her to marry you; you’re also asking her to plan a wedding.

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Will she want a spectacle?

Is she the type of person who would like a spectacle? Maybe it’s important to her that friends and family are there, so doing this at, say, the New Year’s Eve party or her birthday party is a good idea. Perhaps she’d be sad if her other loved ones weren’t there to witness it.

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Or is she a more private person?

Or, is she a rather private person? If she is, then doing this on the Jumbotron at a sports game or by hopping on stage at a concert is not the move. Don’t just ask what would be cool or fun for you. There are two people involved here.

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Will her appearance matter to her?

Is she the type of lady whose appearance will matter to her for this moment? Would she get upset if you, for example, proposed to her when she’d just woken up and not even combed her hair? Would she get a little annoyed if you popped the question at the gym, when she was all sweaty?

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Does she like surprises?

How does she respond to surprises? If she loves them, then you can sort of sneak up on her with this. In fact, if she loves surprises, then make sure you make all effort to make this a surprise!

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Or will a surprise proposal offend her?

If she hates surprises, then you may want to drop hints in the weeks leading up that a proposal may be coming. You don’t want to just make her scream when you propose. You don’t want to cause a panic attack.

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Will she want photographs?

Would it be important to her to have this moment documented? If so, make sure to hire a photographer—or at least have a friend nearby, incognito—to take photos when you get down on one knee.

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Should you ask her parents?

Eerrr…were you supposed to ask her father for her hand in marriage? Or meet with her parents to discuss this? Try to find out what the expectation is there, so you don’t accidentally insult her family.

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Has she been engaged before?

You should know whether or not she’s been engaged before so you can make sure that your proposal is nothing like the previous one.

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Did she want to propose?

Hey, times are changing. Maybe she wanted to propose to you. Maybe she’ll actually be angry if you take that opportunity away from her.

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Will there be other proposals there?

Consider the venue. It may be a very romantic place but for that reason, there could be other proposals happening around you. That sort of ruins your magic moment.

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Or other milestone events?

It may not necessarily be a romantic place but, it could be a place a lot of people go to celebrate things. It’s not very romantic to have the staff singing happy birthday to a nearby table when you’re trying to propose.

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Is she generally happy right now?

Is she generally in a good place right now, mentally and emotionally? She will want to look back on this time of her life and see it as a happy time. She won’t want her engagement to be mixed in with memories of a tough time.

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Would she say yes?

Hello! Did you think about this? Do you know if she’d say yes? You should have some idea of what she’s going to say, to avoid potential humiliation for both of you. Remember that some proposals, when not well planned, turn into breakups.