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Everybody reaches that point of wanting to bang their head against the wall when it comes to making progress in their love lives, friendships, and careers. But, particularly the first item on that list. It seems like everything else is working for everyone else. Everyone you know has found a spouse on one of the dating apps. Everyone you know just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and now their business is being featured in a major magazine. These little “miracles” seem to keep happening to everyone but you. When that happens, you can feel desperate, and ready to rely on something…unconventional. If you live in a big city, then there’s probably a fortune teller around every corner. Or a palm reader. Or a card reader. You’ve always been curious…The thing is that, turning to alternative methods like these to feel you have some control over your life is a slippery slope. Here is why seeing a fortune teller can do more harm than good.
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You give up control
When you see a fortune teller, there is the understanding that what she says will happen is happening no matter what. So if she tells you something good is to come, like something you have always wanted, you may stop making efforts to achieve it, believing it is on its way no matter what.
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So your chances go down
In reality, only your efforts gave you a chance at getting what you wanted. Maybe the fortuneteller knew that you were already working hard at your goals, so she was pretty safe in saying you were going to get them. Of course, she couldn’t possibly admit it’s your efforts making it so—and not any ordainment of hers.
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You accept the bad is inevitable
Let’s say a fortune teller tells you that you will have your heart broken, or you will be betrayed. You might believe that that is now inevitable. So you stop putting effort into your relationship, almost creating a scenario fertile for betrayal or heartbreak.
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It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy
The prediction of something bad to come causes you to behave in a way that provokes that thing. The bad thing happens, actually because you gave up. It is not because of the prediction.
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It adds meaning where there is none
You may see a fortune teller, and she will tell you that in the next month you will meet the love your life. So then you are hyper aware of even the tiniest chemistry or connection, and you inflate it to be more than it is, because of what the fortune teller said.
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You bark up the wrong tree
You could wind up pursuing the wrong relationship all because you wanted so badly to see what the fortune teller said would occur. Ultimately, that is just a waste of time. This desperate looking for a connection only fogs your judgment and makes it hard to see real connection when it is there.
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Friends and loved ones stop consulting
You likely still ask for your friends and family for their advice, wisdom, and opinions, while seeing a fortune teller. Eventually you will tell your friends and family you see a fortune teller, which makes them feel they are wasting their time by advising you.
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Friends resent it
They can feel disrespected, since you would rather take the advice of a stranger who charges you money than listen to free advice from people who love you and know you.
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The fortune teller will twist that truth
Like in an emotionally manipulative boyfriend, the fortuneteller will tell you your friends abandoned you because they are jealous of you for pursuing your best life. Since you are in pain over their abandonment, you just want to believe the fortuneteller. It is easier than facing the truth.
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People stop trusting you
People hesitate to have a relationship with you, knowing that you believe whatever your fortuneteller says is law. They know if the fortune teller says your partner will betray you, you will look for betrayal and see it even when it isn’t there.
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Nobody wants to deal with it
People close to you feel like they are always either trying to live up to or fighting what the fortuneteller said about them, which is too much pressure for a relationship.
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Scammers will target you
When scam artists hear that you go to a fortuneteller, they will decide you are malleable and an easy target. Whether or not fortunetelling is a real skill, scam artists will target you, knowing you want to believe.
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You take no responsibility for your mistakes
If you are fired, dumped, or ditched by a friend, you simply say the fortuneteller told you this would happen. And so it was. You do not reflect and consider if perhaps your own mistakes caused this. In other words, you do not accept responsibility or fault.
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You become blind
As you refuse more and more to self reflect, and consider the possibility that sometimes you just messed up, you feel even more lost. Life seems senseless, because you are not brave enough to stop and make sense of it. So you become even more reliant on your fortune teller. It is easier to look to her than within.
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You stop living
You become obsessed with predicting the future, and beating life to the punch. You stop being present. You stop living in the moment. What good does knowing the future or being right do you if you don’t get to enjoy any of the process?
