Why Being Successful Young Can Be Problematic - Page 4

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I had a lot of things almost hit when I was in my mid twenties. Of course, at that age, I felt I was well into my prime, had been working for a long time (a mere three years out of college), and well within my right to expect huge success, any minute now. Today, I realize just how silly I was to think I’d been at it for a long time at age 25—that’s just one of the many ways my perspective on career has changed over time. I look back and realize not only is it totally appropriate that I didn’t have fame and huge financial success by age 25, but it’s also rather lucky. I’ve known several people who did hit it big when they were young and I can see how it was ultimately to the detriment of many. We’re still so naïve and malleable in our twenties, but if success finds us, we’re suddenly thrown into the limelight and spoon-fed opportunities we may not be ready for. Here is why being successful young can be a bad thing.

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You don’t have your peeps

If you’re fresh out of college, then you don’t have your core crew yet. I’m talking about your friends who love you for the purest, simplest reasons—because of who you are in your heart. They’ll be there for you, regardless of outside or superficial circumstances. It takes well into our thirties to find that crew.

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So you make fake friends

So, you can wind up with a lot of fake friends. These are friends who are just around you because of the status and money. Some may not be there for that but, it can be hard to really know because, they all showed up after the success.

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You don’t know money management

By your thirties or forties, you’re thinking about things like retirement. You’re aware of things like inflation, and how the housing market changes. You know how something like a medical emergency can wipe out your savings. In your twenties, you don’t really think about any of that.

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You don’t appreciate the odds

No matter how talented or worthy you are of something, there is always a little luck involved in success. The who you know or being at the right place at the right time thing came into play, somehow. You’d know that if you were out there, hustling and grinding for years, seeing it happen for everyone but you. But if you’re successful out the gates, you think it’s all you—that there was no luck, and that you’re just the best.

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So you aren’t humble

Since you think luck and the help of others had nothing to do with it, you won’t be humble. You won’t live with a perspective of gratitude. You’ll really believe you’re successful all because you’re the best, so unaware of all the others out there who aren’t just as good as you but better than you, who just didn’t get lucky yet.

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No humility=a bad reputation

When you aren’t humble, you get a bad reputation, quickly. You can’t help it—you don’t even realize the things you do and say come off as cocky. The only reality you’ve ever known is working just a little, then becoming wildly successful. That’s bound to affect the way you act.

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A bad reputation=less collaborations

When you aren’t humble, word gets around and people don’t want to work with you. So a lot of potential collaborations are off the table for you. Nobody wants to partner with someone who will always act like royalty rather than, well, a partner.

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You don’t work the starter jobs

If you rise straight to the top, then you’re never an intern or an assistant. You don’t have to work as a server or bartender while you chase your dreams. You don’t experience, firsthand, all of those jobs that come in the interim before success.

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So you’re an insensitive boss

Being a boss is never easy. You want to be empathetic without being a doormat. You’ll really struggle in this area because you just have no idea what the experiences of your employees are like. You can’t really empathize. You were never in their shoes.

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Those who worked for it don’t respect you

Most people who are successful in your industry probably didn’t find success in their twenties. They likely grinded it out, working themselves to the bone for years before they found success. They had day jobs for eight hours a day and then dedicated their evenings to their dream. They have little respect for someone who they perceive just had success handed to them.

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So you’ll feel excluded

You may struggle to find companionship around your peers. Your peers may not even consider you their peer because you didn’t go through what they went through to get what you have.

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Your experience is rare

As for people your own age, they don’t relate to your experience. They’re barely paying bills. They have to get drinks during happy hour and can’t afford the place you like, where one cocktail is $18.

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You feel disconnected from people your age

Your peers may no really talk to you about their experiences because they don’t want your pity. They commiserate with others in their shoes, but don’t open up to you as much.

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You can feel the work is done

If success comes early, it’s easy to believe that the work is done—there’s nothing else to do. So you just ride the wave, and don’t continue to make connections and pursue new projects.