Why Man-Hating Is Holding You Back
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I understand that a handful of men have made us rather skeptical of all men recently. Even with the #notallmen going around, a lot of people still secretly think I mean kind of all men. Even I laughed to myself recently when I saw a billboard for that new Taraji Henson and Aldis Hodge movie “What Men Want.” I saw it and thought, “Does anybody want to know what men are thinking? That sounds terrifying to me.” But then I had to stop myself. I live with and love a man. I can’t possibly think that if I could hear his thoughts, I’d be mortified, right? And what about my good male friends who I consider some of the best people I know? Do they deserve for me to think of them that way? What about the man who gave me my first job when I had no experience? None of these people would have been in my life if I let myself hate all men. So, if you hate all men, here’s how that isn’t helping your love life or career.
You look unapproachable
Because of all the man-hating thoughts you have, unbeknownst to yourself, you may have a permanent scowl on your face. It got stuck there, after all the bad thoughts you had about men. Now nobody wants to approach.
Your questions sound like threats
When men talk to you, you immediately think everything they’re saying is a lie or inflation of the truth. When you ask a question, you put so much stank on it as if you’re automatically deciding whatever they say next is BS. Nobody wants to continue a conversation like that.
Your laughs are condescending
If a man makes you laugh, you still laugh in a condescending manner. Your laugh almost says, “Fine you made me laugh that time but that doesn’t mean you are generally smart or funny.” Your laugh is more of a snort with an eye roll.
Men don’t hire man-haters
You can’t really control if the people who interview you for jobs are men or women. If you’ve been hating men for a while, and then you interview with one, you’re bound to give attitude without even realizing it. There goes a job.
Men don’t recommend man-haters
If you know a man you actually rather like and want him to recommend you for a job, he won’t do it if he knows you generally hate men. Why would he set you up for an interview in which you’d be rude to the employer?
That social media post just disqualified you
You have no idea who is looking at your social media. It may not just be your circle of other man-hating friends. It could be potential employers, or a guy whom you actually like, who now won’t ask you out because of that man-hating manifesto you posted.
How can he introduce you to his friends?
If you date a guy who does understand where you’re coming from with all the man-hate, he will still be in a predicament. How is he to introduce you to his male friends? You’ll probably insult them.
Nobody has your back if you mess up
Being hateful can leave you feeling very lonely. This is especially true when you make a mistake. If you’ve been talking about how terrible all men are at work for example, then you make a mistake at work, no man there will be forgiving of your mistake. Why should they be? You haven’t forgiven them for anything. In fact, you’ve been mad at them for things they didn’t do.
People fear being your ally
There are women who worry about aligning themselves with you professionally or socially. They actually think you’re a good and intelligent person, but you’re so vocal about hating men. They don’t want other people to think they feel the same way because of their friendship with you.
Nobody wants to constantly apologize
If you are in a constant state of looking for things to get mad at a man about, that means any man who dates you will have to be ready to constantly apologize. Nobody wants that.
Nobody wants to apologize for somebody else
And nobody wants to apologize for somebody else. If you spend half your dates talking about all the awful things other men in the world have done, your date will feel like he just has to apologize for things he didn’t do. Would you like doing that?
You give attitude to employers
Even if you aren’t rude to your male boss’ face, you may say things behind his back that get back to him. Like, for example, in your women’s-only group. Don’t think what goes on there stays there.
Your friends won’t set you up
Your friends won’t set you up on dates if they fear you’ll scare the poor guy off with your vent session on how awful men are. They may know of some eligible bachelors for you, but they don’t dare put the poor guys through one of your rants.
Men make up half the world
Men do happen to make up half the world. If you’ve decided to hate all of them, you’re going to have bad days all day every day.
And they won’t stop being men
The other thing is that men aren’t going to stop being men. So you can be mad at them for being men all you want—there’s not a whole lot they can do about that. Unless they want a sex change, which is their prerogative.