When Your Friend Gains Weight And Doesn’t Know It - Page 9

Source: Drazen_ / Getty

Weight gain is such a sensitive topic amongst everyone, but particularly amongst women. I have noticed that men can playfully call each other out for packing on a few pounds from too much beer or barbecue, but I don’t think any woman would dare pat her friend on the stomach and make such a joke. You just don’t do that to women. But what are you to do when your good friend has clearly put on significant weight? You know that, unfortunately, the world is harder on overweight women. Dating becomes difficult. Even job prospects become smaller. You do not want your friends to suffer any of that. But you also don’t know how to bring it up. Here’s what to do when your good friend puts on weight and does not realize it.

Source: Lisa5201 / Getty

Do not tell her

Under no circumstances are you to tell your friend that she gained weight. It will never come off as supportive. It will only come off as mean. One day, she may come to realize you were right but you won’t even be friends at that point because you were mean enough to tell her she gained weight.

Source: Drazen_ / Getty

It might be a phase

Keep in mind that this might be a phase. Haven’t you gone through phases of life when your weight fluctuated? If you have, then you know sometimes these things just pass. Don’t take action unless her weight gain becomes severe and clearly isn’t going to stop.

Source: Drazen_ / Getty

If she mentions it, respond with questions

If she does mention that she feels a little heavier, don’t respond by saying, “You are.” Instead, respond with questions like “Why do you think that is?” or “Have you been doing anything different with your diet?”

Source: Bernd Schwabedissen / EyeEm / Getty

Say your tips out loud

You probably have little healthy tricks you do all day, like scooping some of the dough out of your bread for a skinnier sandwich. If you do these around your friend, say out loud, “I’m just removing some bread—I need to cut carbs” to get her thinking about doing the same.

Source: FatCamera / Getty

Invite her to exercise

Invite her to sign up to an exercise class with you. If you can find something regular that she’d have to commit to—like three times a week for two months—you could get her back on track of a healthy lifestyle.

Source: Westend61 / Getty

Walk down memory lane

Look over old photos from college, high school, or as far back as you go. She may have a reality check that she’s put on quiet a bit of weight since those photos were taken.

Source: Fran Polito / Getty

Suggest a different activity

When she suggests brunch, you suggest a beach walk. When she suggests happy hour with wings and nachos, you suggest taking the dogs to the park.

Source: FatCamera / Getty

Reprimand yourself for not exercising

Make little criticisms of yourself out loud like, “Ugh. I haven’t been exercising enough lately. I need to get back on top of that.” She may reflect and wonder if that applies to her, too.

Source: asiseeit / Getty

Ask if she is happy at work now

She may be binge eating because she’s miserable at her job. The only thing she has to look forward to is lots of food at the end of the day. If that’s the case, talk to her about possibly switching jobs.

Source: simarik / Getty

Sign up for a cooking class

If you give her a healthy cookbook, that can be too aggressive. But signing you two up for a healthy cooking class just seems like a fun way to spend time together. Meanwhile, she’ll pick up healthy tips.

Source: LaylaBird / Getty

Find out when she binge eats

Try to get the run down on her day. What do her evenings look like? Afternoons? When does the overeating happen? If you can pick up on this piece of information, you may find the emotional source of the over eating. You could also find another way to occupy her during those times.

Source: laflor / Getty

Discuss your own weight concerns

Chat out loud about your own weight concerns. Mention you’ve put on a little weight, or have noticed you have to work harder to stay slim as you get older. You’ll put these thoughts into her subconscious.

Source: martin-dm / Getty

Talk about another friend who gained weight

You could, in a sideways manner, talk about some other friend who has gained weight. Say you’re worried about her, and not sure how to address it. Your friend may wonder if she has also gained weight.

Source: Pekic / Getty

If she asks, you can be honest

If she does say to you, “Be honest: have I gained weight?” then and only then are you allowed to say, “Yes. You have. Want me to help you lose it?”