According To Experts, Here Are The Five Stages Of Love
According To Experts, Here Are The Five Stages Of Love & Why So Many Relationships Fail At Stage 3
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Oh falling in love. The butterflies, the wonderful dates, the emoji filled texts–the early honeymoon times of new love makes all of our hearts swoon. But as everything else in life evolves, real love matures, morphs and changes from it’s original form, into something, hopefully, even stronger and more beautiful than it was originally.
Jed Diamond, relationship expert from YourTango weighed in on the five stages of love and how it can affect your relationship. Diamond also explains why stage three is the most precarious stage for any lovers.
Click through to read more:
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Stage 1: Falling In Love
While some people like to rush through the beginning to get to the “I’m comfortable,” stage, this stage is personally my favorite part. Everything about your partner is covered in rose gold, and you are getting to know the purest parts of their essence.
Not to mention, your hormones are out of of control.
“Falling in love is nature’s trick to get humans to pick a mate so that our species carries on. It feels so wonderful because we are awash in “love hormones”, such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen,” Diamond explains.
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Stage Two: Reaching Couple Status
This is when you both have comfortably defined the relationship and made the decision to grow together.
“During this phase, we experience less of the falling head-over-heels “in love” feelings. We feel more bonded with our partner. We feel warm and cuddly. The sex may not be as wild, but it’s deeply satisfying. We feel safe, cared for, cherished, and appreciated. We feel close and protected. We often think this is the ultimate level of love and we expect it to go on forever,” Diamond told YourTango.
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Stage Three Danger Zone:Disillusionment
This is when things get precarious for couples. The rose colored glasses come off and the flaws are glaring. You may find yourself irritable about things you once thought were cute. You may develop doubts, trust issues, or fears associated with your life together.
“For too many relationships, this is the beginning of the end. This is a period where things begin to feel bad. It can occur slowly or can feel like a switch is flipped and everything goes wrong. Little things begin to bother us. We feel less loved and cared for. We feel trapped and want to escape.”
But within this relationship crisis there is an opportunity to love more and more deeply. With superficial love cast away, if you break through, you find a love that isn’t dependent upon someone being perfect, but loved perfectly.
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Stage Four: Lasting Love
Once you push past stage three, you have a relationship built to last. The partner sees the bad and the ugly, and has decided to accept and love you for all your are, flaws included.
“There’s nothing more satisfying than being with a partner who sees you and loves you for who you are. They understand that your hurtful behavior is not because you are mean and unloving, but because you have been wounded in the past and the past still lives with you. As we better understand and accept our partner, we can learn to love ourselves ever more deeply,” Diamond explains.
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Stage 5: A Love That Heals Others
When people get married, there is a glow around them that inspires us all to be a little more loving. Ideally, seeing two people come together and loving each other holistically gives us each the courage to do the same in our personal relationships, and in our communities.
“If we can learn to overcome our differences and find real, lasting love in our relationships, perhaps we can work together to find real, lasting love in the world,” Diamond concludes.
