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There are plenty of reasons someone may struggle to find a long-term relationship that sticks. There are plenty of well-adjusted, mature, desirable, wonderful individuals—total catches—who just don’t seem to be in the right place at the right time to meet someone with whom they’re compatible. That is certainly the case for many people. But then there’s another group of individuals—of course, they’ll never admit when they fall into this category—who only has their own behavior to blame for their perpetual singlehood. They can’t use the excuse that they never meet anyone because they actually date a lot of people. Starting relationships isn’t their problem—continuing them is. Some people just don’t have that quality that makes a relationship stick. Flightiness, impatience, and impulsiveness lead all their relationships to crash and burn. It can be hard to face it if you fall into this category, but there are some undeniable signs that you give up on relationships too fast.
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You won’t take feedback
You get very upset if anyone gives you any feedback. That could be feedback on your social behavior, lifestyle habits, career, cleanliness—really anything. If someone gives you any feedback, you decide that you simply aren’t compatible. The right fit would never give you any notes and he’d think you were perfect, right?
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You think compromise is unfair
You like to go out and he likes to stay in. You like to watch zombie movies and he likes to watch documentaries. If he asks you to meet somewhere in the middle or—oh my goodness—ask that you do what he wants for the day, you decide he’s bossy and just not right for you. Because, being compatible with someone means having him do everything your way, all of the time, and never asserting his needs. Naturally.
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People are shocked when you dump them
When you break up with people, they look truly shocked. The expression on their face almost looks like you crossed a line or went too far. It never seems like, to them, a breakup was anywhere within the realm of possible ways this discussion would go. But you’ll pull that trigger any time, without warning.
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You hear, “Give this one a chance” often
Your friends and family often gently suggest you, “Actually give this one a chance…” when you’re in a new relationship that seems to be going well. You hear those words a lot.
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A fight = a breakup
In your opinion, a fight necessitates a breakup. Not getting along for even a couple of days means the relationship has to end. Most of your relationships haven’t made it past the first fight.
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You only see what’s on paper
You focus on your compatibility with someone on paper. You look at goals, hobbies, background, and interests. If any of those don’t look good, you bail—you don’t even focus enough on your emotional connection to see if that could have carried you through your differences.
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Nobody wants to meet your boo
When you excitedly offer to introduce your friends and family to your new boyfriend, they all say, “Oh yeah…maybe in a few months. We’re so busy right now.” In other words, they don’t believe this will last so they don’t want to waste their time meeting the guy.
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This awkward thing happens often
Too often have you run into a friend, while you were with your date, and had that friend say, “Oh! This must be fill in name of guy it is NOT” Your poor friend presumed it must be the guy you were raving about, just last month. Nope! This is already a new person.
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Four months is your record
You’ve never dated someone for more than four months. That’s just the amount of time it takes for all the excitement and buzz to wear down and you to actually start to invest in each other’s lives. Coincidentally, that’s also when you feel things get too hard.
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But you have on-again-off-again things
You haven’t dated someone for more than four consecutive months, but you’ve had several on-again-off-again relationships that have gone on for years, but never been on for more than a few months. These are the types of relationships people who can’t quite commit get into, to allow themselves the chance to say, “I’ve been dating this guy for two years.” They omit the detail that they’ve broken up eight times.
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Nobody matches your enthusiasm
When you tell people you met this great guy, they don’t light up the way you do. They just know how you are—you love someone one month, and hate him the next. They can’t really get excited for you anymore.
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You expect a relationship to change your life
In your mind, a relationship should change your life. It should make your life one hundred times better. It should be magical and transformative. In other words, you put far too much pressure on these things, so of course they’re going to break.
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You’ve started rushing things
Your new thing is rushing things—living together quickly, getting engaged quickly etc. It’s your subconscious way of trying to race your own bad habits. You think, “Maybe if we can just lock this down before I realize this person’s flaws and want to leave, it will work out.” That’s one of the many silly reasons couples rush things.
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You give up on everything else easily
Your flightiness doesn’t stop at romantic relationships. You lose jobs a lot because of impulsive behavior (like teeing off on your boss for giving you a little criticism or sleeping with a coworker). You hate someone today that yesterday you called your best friend for life.
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You always have a backup
Even when you are dating someone, you always have someone else who you know you could start dating immediately if things don’t work out. In other words, you give up on the relationship before it even starts.
