How Losing Weight Affects Friendships - Page 6

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When you set out to lose a lot of weight, you really only think about how it will affect your health, your self-esteem, and probably how members of the opposite sex treat you. Losing a significant amount of weight is so all-consuming—it takes up your time and your thoughts—that you have a one track mind while you’re at it. All you can do is focus on the end goal. You’ll only lift your head up once you get there, to see how things have changed around you. But when you do reach that goal, you’ll be surprised to find that losing a lot of weight affects more than you’d expect. You had no idea how your weight penetrated every layer of all of your interactions and how it played a small—or large—role in a lot of your relationships. You see life through a new lens. Sometimes you like what you see, but sometimes you don’t. It’s an adjustment. Here are ways losing weight affects your friendships.

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You’re accused of being “too good now”

You’ll learn that certain friends wanted to keep you down. They liked that, when you were overweight, you were insecure and a bit depressed. They felt better by comparing themselves to you. Now they’ll accuse you of being elitist or acting too good for them. The fact that you worked on yourself only makes them realize they need to work on themselves.

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You become a wing woman

Single friends may invite you to be their wing woman more often. Now that they believe more men will find you attractive, they want to bring you along for nights at single bars. They want a hot wing woman so, if they meet a man who is out with a friend, he will be happily distracted by the wing woman. That’s you now.

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Or, you’re fired as wing woman

Then there are friends who have a different approach to choosing wing women. They may have invited you out in the past because they felt they looked distinctly better by standing next to you. It’s harsh, and painful to realize. But they may not invite you out as wing woman anymore. Take it as a compliment—they see you as competition now. You look that good.

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You get delayed setups

Friends start setting you up with eligible bachelors they know. You ask how long they’ve known these men and, it turns out they’ve known them for years. You put it together that they’re only just setting you up now because now you’ve lost the weight.

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Some old activities don’t hold up

You have a group of friends with whom you typically do nachos, beer, and ice cream night every week. But, you can’t really do that any more—you didn’t lose weight by doing things like that. That means hanging with those friends less, though, because that’s what they want to do.

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Jealousy comes up

Suddenly, female friends can become jealous if you hang out with or even talk to their boyfriends or love interests. You’re a threat now. But you’ve always been friends with their boyfriends! Are you to stop, because you’re in shape now?

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Secret socializing reveals itself

It turns out that a group of your friends has been doing Pilates and brunch every Saturday for years—they just never invited you in the past because they thought the work out class might make you uncomfortable if you couldn’t keep up.

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Male friends try to creep

Your male friends may start to hit on you. You look good and men are visual creatures.

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You learn your true friends

Your true friends are just happy for you—pure and simple. Little changes. They always included you in activities and spoke to you honestly, and they still do. Now, they’re just extra celebratory of your achievements and excited for what’s ahead for you.

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Shopping becomes a thing

More girlfriends invite you to go shopping. In the past, they worried that shopping was a triggering activity for you since you couldn’t fit into the clothes at the stores they like.

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You want to help overweight friends

Once you’ve helped yourself, you can’t help but want to help those around you. You see clearly why your overweight friends are overweight, and what they could do to change that. You can’t help but want to coach them, so they can get to where you are.

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But your overweight friends resent you

Your overweight friends may resent you for trying to help them. People really won’t change until they’re ready to. Until then, any help feels like criticism.

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When cute women are required

When a friend knows a group of guys with bottle service at a club who asked her to come with “a few hot friends,” you’re invited as one of those hot friends. That’s new.

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You want to be with fit people

You can’t help but gravitate away from friends who still have unhealthy lifestyles and towards those with healthy habits. You feel amazing, and you want to be around other people who feel amazing and encourage you to keep up the good work.