What To Say And Not Say To A Bald Man

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Is your fella going bald? It can be a very sensitive subject for men. Even though many men witness their hairline receding before age 40 (and some even before age 30) it never becomes easy for a man to lose his hair. No matter how much you assure your partner that he’d look good without hair, and no matter how much you say you don’t even notice his hair thinning, your partner will be sensitive if he’s going bald. Balding denotes a lot of things for men. It makes them feel as if they’re getting older. It makes them feel as if they’re losing their sex appeal. It makes them feel like they’re turning into their fathers—about whom they may have mixed feelings. If you’re a woman with slightly thinning hair, then just think of the pain and embarrassment that brings you, and quadruple it—that’s how men feel about going bald. Here’s what to do and not do when your partner goes bald.

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Don’t: Offer a fake celebrity comparison

He knows he doesn’t look like that super hot bald celebrity to whom you’re comparing him. Now you’re just insulting his intelligence.

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Do: Say it means you have lots of testosterone

You can mention that, when men go bald, it’s often due to an excess of testosterone. In other words, only the super duper manly men go bald. He may like that spin on things.

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Do: Mention that plenty of men go bald

They really do! In fact, by age 35, most men experience some degree of hair loss. He is not some abnormality and he is not alone.

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Don’t: Say, “Good; less hair in the sink”

Try and be more delicate than this. Yes, you’ll be glad that he won’t leave his shedding hair all over the bathroom floor but meanwhile he’ll be devastated over his loss of youth and vigor.

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Do: Say you think bald men are hot

Hey, bald men can be hot. They’re distinguished in a way. Make sure he knows you see sex appeal in the bald man.

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Don’t: Say, “I wish you’d go bald elsewhere”

So he’s got a lot of hair…everywhere. His back, arms, chest, and, um, member have all the hair his head wants right now. You don’t need to mention that you wish his balding would extend to his whole body. It’s not the time.

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Do: Keep your sex life active

It’s more important than ever to keep your sex life active. Resist the urge to say, “I’m not in the mood” every night. His self-esteem can’t take the hit right now.

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Don’t: Accuse him of being vain

It’s not fair to tell him he’s vain for wanting to keep his hair. How would you feel if you were going bald? Or if your breasts were disappearing (a more relatable comparison perhaps). You’d care, and that wouldn’t make you vain.

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Don’t: Assure him he’s still young

Don’t tell him he’s still young and has plenty of years left on this planet. He wasn’t even thinking about mortality…until now.

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Do: Let him try some products

He’s going to go through a phase of trying to stop this. He’ll try different products and over-the-counter medications. Let him try—even if sampling shampoos seems too feminine for a man—it’s an important part of the balding process.

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Don’t: Let him buy weird products

Just make sure he doesn’t buy odd products with foreign labels he can’t understand and that the FDA hasn’t approved. He may be desperate but he shouldn’t put his health at risk.

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Do: Laugh at his jokes

He’s going to make jokes about going bald—like comparing his head to a bowling ball or saying you’re free to check your reflection on his shiny noggin. Feel free to laugh. It’s healthy that he makes jokes.

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Don’t: Buy him tons of hats

He’s free to buy himself lots of hats but you aren’t. If you buy him hats, you’re implying that you’re embarrassed of his balding head.

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Do: Refrain from making your own jokes

While he can make jokes about his bowling ball head, you cannot. You never know when he’s in the mood for such jokes, so it’s better that he’s the one who makes them.