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dating lazy man

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I understand that most men, if they’re into a woman, will put in the effort. Most normal, well-adjusted men who have gained some wisdom and have even moderate experience know that you need to put in a little work when you want a woman’s affection and respect. But some poor souls just never learn. Even when they do really like a woman, all their love interests walk away and they aren’t sure why. They don’t piece it together: it’s because these men are lazy. Look, obviously we all wish we could sit on our butts and somehow, miraculously, gain the love and affection of a great catch. That sounds awesome! But no self-respecting woman sticks around for a man who puts in little effort, even if he insists he likes her or even loves her. Men, here are lazy dating habits women hate.

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Texting “Hi”

You don’t need to text some fascinating thesis on human evolution but can you please, for the love of all things, text something more than “Hi?” What are we supposed to do with that? It’s like a man’s way of saying, “I like you and want to talk but am too lazy to even say that. Can you take it from here?”

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Not choosing an activity

It doesn’t have to be some unique activity but pick an activity. If you just keep saying, “I’ll do whatever you want to do” we feel like you’ll never take initiative in any area of the relationship.

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Selecting the typical restaurant

That date spot in town that’s so clearly designed for first dates. It’s just cute enough to work but is really rather run of the mill with nothing special about it. It’s the easy, obvious choice. It says nothing about the man’s personality or own taste.

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“We should do something some time”

Oookay. What thing? What time? Are we setting that now or, are we going to have some other conversation, “some time” about doing something, some time in the future beyond that? Ugh. It’s exhausting.

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No mid-week contact

Some men will treat you to an amazing weekend and then put their heads down and go ghost for the following Monday to Friday. We get that you’re busy but a simple, mid-week, “Thinking about you! Hope you’re having a good week!” text goes a long way.

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Giving up on date nights

If you’ve been dating for a little while, some men will just give up on date nights entirely once they feel the relationship is in the bag. It’s like they have it on their calendar at the three-month mark, “No need to make an effort starting today.” It’s not that hard to come up with a nice date activity.

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Inviting you to his event

He’s in a band and invites you to his performance. He’s an author and invites you to his book signing. Um, you don’t just want to be treated like a fan. Those nights are all about him and date nights should be about both of you.

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Needing a restaurant with a TV

Men who insist on finding a restaurant with a TV so you can “Keep an eye on the game”—you just don’t deserve to date. TiVo the damned game and watch it at home, later, alone.

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“Just come over when you’re done”

Some men, once they’ve made you their girlfriend, just give up on making an effort to know your friends or take an interest in your hobbies. If you invite them to something, they say, “Just come over when you’re done.”

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Asking you to DD

Dude, pay for a cab, get a Lyft, or stay sober yourself, but don’t ask your date to be the designated driver so you can get drunk. That’s high school behavior.

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Avoiding places with a dress code

It’s really not that hard to put on dress shoes and pants. But some dudes just won’t go anywhere with even a moderate dress code. So, basically, they won’t change out of their shorts to go somewhere that would make their date really happy.

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No culinary sense of adventure

If they can’t pronounce it or you wouldn’t find it on the Cheesecake Factory menu, some men just won’t eat something new. There’s no chance of dragging them to the opening night of a quirky and innovative new restaurant. It doesn’t make them great prospects to spend a life with.

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“I don’t like new people”

I understand that making chitchat with new people—people with whom you don’t yet have rapport—takes a lot of energy. But it’s energy men should expend when it comes to getting to know their girlfriends’ friends. Some men, however, are so lazy that they don’t want to meet new people—even the good friends of the woman they claim to love.

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Last minute reach-out

He wants to know what you’re doing Saturday for lunch. It is Friday night. That man needs to set calendar reminders on Tuesday to reach out to you about the weekend because by Wednesday night your weekend is booked.

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No logistics tolerance

If there are more than two steps of logistics—like, be there by 6pm to get free parking or go to this website to get tickets—he won’t do it. Some men become cranky babies when it comes to multi-step processes.