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Black woman putting money into savings jars

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There are many issues that can affect relationships, but one of the worst is when you feel like you’re being used, especially when it comes to your money. Having suspicions that your man is only with you because of what you can do for him financially is a position many women find themselves in, but don’t have to.

To help you detect the signs of being swindled by a user, we’ve put together a list of sure-fire ways to tell if your man is only focused on your bank account and how it can benefit him. If you recognize any of these signs, don’t hesitate to get out before your wallet runs dry.

Young couple shopping

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African family with adult children drinking champagne. (via Getty)

You Pay For Everything…All The Time

This is as obvious as it gets. If you are always the only person to spend money on any and everything while your man pays for absolutely nothing, then you are most certainly being used.

Sure, everyone goes through financial shifts where they may have less money than they’re used to and thus their significant other may have to foot the bill, but this should not be the case all the time. If you ever needed concrete proof that you’re likely a sugar mama, this is it.

 

Young black African American couple sitting by glass table and trying to work through pile of bills, frustrated by amount of expenses during economic crises recession times hoping for stimulus plan to work or expecting bailout money

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He Makes You Feel Guilty When You Don’t Financially Support Him

This is classic manipulation 101. When your man is a user, he’s mastered the ability to make you feel guilty about not supporting his financial needs in the hopes that you will give in and ultimately give him money.

Don’t let this be you. Your man is grown and you are not financially obligated to support him in any manner unless you want to. Resist his attempts at reverse psychology and keep your purse strings tight.

Couple looking at pile of money

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None Of His Financial Issues Are His Fault

At some point early in the relationship your user boyfriend confessed to you all of his financial problems and everyone else was to blame. This not only means that he’s terrible with money, it also means that he doesn’t know the importance of taking responsibility for his actions.

Not only does he blame others for his financial problems, he also expects you to use your money to come in and save his financial day. No ma’am!

Couple counting money

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He’s Consistently Unemployed

Job markets fluctuate, especially depending on your industry and sometimes it’s hard to find steady work. This is entirely understandable, however there is a difference between navigating through a tough job market for a period of time and never having a job at all.

Though it may be a bruise to his ego, most men will take a lower-paying job out of their area of expertise in order to provide for themselves and have their basic needs met. If your man isn’t willing to do this, it’s because he’s waiting for you to foot the bill.

Couple holding money

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He Always Comments On Your Large Bank Account

Pay attention to your man’s actions and what he says as it relates to your finances. If he is always commenting about how well you are doing financially and how much money you have in contrast to him, those are definite warning signs that something’s off.

This behavior clearly suggests that he has his sights set on your bank account more than your heart, and you certainly don’t deserve that from anyone.

 

Couple shopping

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He Has Expensive Tastes

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with having an appreciation for the finer things in life, but when you expect others to pay for them there’s a problem.

If your guy’s expensive tastes result in you opening your wallet to pay for them at every turn, you need to stop yourself immediately and realize that you are being used in the worst way.

Christmas Shoppers In London

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He Never Buys You Anything

Regardless of someone’s poor financial state, if you mean anything to your man he will at the very least scrape together some money to buy you something on special days like your birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day.

However, when you’re dealing with a user, he never buys you anything at all because the sole reason he’s in a relationship with you is so you can buy him whatever he wants. You’re an afterthought in this instance and you shouldn’t stand for it.

Man with money and happy expression

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He Frequently Disappears After You Give Him Money

This is the classic user scenario, you give him money and then he conveniently disappears until it runs out and he needs more. This is totally unacceptable and you certainly don’t need to be with someone who views you as their personal ATM. Ignore all the excuses for his disappearances after his financial needs have been met, and instead cut him off in every way possible.

Winter shopping

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He Never Discusses The Future

You could call it a lack of ambition, but it’s really all about you being with a user. A man that never mentions his future to you or with you, is clearly letting you know that you are not important enough to consider for the long-term. As a user, he’s only focused on the now and the now involves getting as much from you financially as he possibly can.

Person counting money, close-up

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Your Intuition Is Telling You The Truth

“Listen to your first instinct,” is advice you’ve been given your whole life and most of the time it’s totally right. If you sit down a really look at your relationship, you’ll realize that you’ve been with a user from the start.

Sometimes when the truth is so obvious and hurtful we ignore it to protect ourselves, but since you’re giving large amounts of your money to a man, you need to wake up and make some instant changes.