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You and your partner have decided to live together. Rather than you moving into his place or him moving into yours, you’d hoped to find a brand new place that was new to both of you. You tried apartment hunting, to find a spot suitable for a couple. But, ultimately, you realized that the smart financial decision would be for both of you to live in your place. It’s bigger, enjoys a better location, and is somehow more affordable than everything you two saw. Your idea to find a new place goes out the window, and your partner starts moving his couch through your sliding glass doors. You can still make your apartment—where you’ve lived as a single woman for a while now—feel like your and his apartment through a few changes. It is important that your partner feels like your home is now his home. Here are ways to make your man feel at home when he moves into your place.
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Make room in the closet
Clear out some drawers, donate clothes, put items in storage—you need to give your partner just about as much closet space as you have. Maybe he doesn’t need as much if he doesn’t love to shop as much as you do. But you know how many things he owns: create storage space for them.
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Make room in the refrigerator
Clear room in the refrigerator, too. Have your partner arrive to a half empty fridge, so he doesn’t feel like he has to ask for room in there, or squeeze a few of his belongings between your many, many yogurts and salads.
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Clear space for his photos
Your partner likely has some photos he’d like to put up—photos of his family, his best friends, his graduation etc. You may need to tuck some of yours into drawers to make room for his.
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Take down some things
Be honest with yourself: do you own anything that screams single woman apartment? Maybe like a knitted mural of kittens? Or a bright pink pineapple-shaped lampshade? Perhaps you can give these up, or at least move them from the living room—where you host guests—to your bedroom.
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Accept a piece of his furniture
Your partner probably has a piece of furniture or two to which he’s quite attached. Maybe an awesome vintage coffee table or a lazy boy chair. It might be time to compromise. Sell some furniture to which you aren’t super attached and make room for his special pieces.
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Introduce him to the neighbors
Walk him around the building or neighborhood and introduce your man to your neighbors. Announce that he is moving in. It’s important that, when they see him outside, they don’t ask if he’s just spending the night or stopping by. He’ll feel more at home if the neighbors know he lives there now.
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Put his name on the mailbox
Putting your partner’s name on the mailbox is a simple way to help him claim the home.
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Adjust the bathroom
Take a look around your bathroom, as this is an area that can get quite feminine if you let it. Maybe you have a purple shower caddy, a sparkly shower curtain, or bathmats with daisies on them. I’m not saying all women have bathrooms like this—or that there’s anything wrong with it—but if you do, consider that your boyfriend may not want that.
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Host his friends
Tell your partner to have his friends over. Encourage him to have a boys’ night there. Having guests at his new apartment is a great way to help him feel at home
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Have a house re-warming party
You could have a house re-warming party. Invite friends, neighbors, and family over and have a house-warming party as if you and your partner are just moving into this place for the first time.
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Do some communicating
Give your partner the chance to open up about needs and expectations. You may have some habits around your home that bother him. He never said anything before because it was your home. Now it’s his home, too. Let him speak up, and don’t get upset.
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Stock some of his favorite foods
Have some of his favorite items ready to go in the kitchen. It’s a good idea to get used to grocery shopping for two, anyways.
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Put his name on some bills
Financial responsibility gives men a sense of ownership. Pass some of the utility bills over to your partner. If you can, get his name on the lease.
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Ex gifts should go
If you have some gifts around that exes gave you, it’s time to put those away. Donate them, or put them in storage. Would you want to live amongst gifts from your man’s exes?
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Release the idea that this is “your” home
You need to have a little conversation with yourself and really understand that this is no longer just your home. If your partner wants to change anything, he isn’t asking for your permission—it’s a conversation amongst equal owners.
