To Men: How To Make Her Feel Like A Priority
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“The key to a happy marriage is making sure your partner always feels like a priority.” I heard that from an elderly man recently, who’d enjoyed a long marriage of nearly 50 years before his wife passed. The reality is that your partner cannot actually, every waking minute, be your priority. If that were the case then you’d be Facetiming her while you were in a business meeting and you’d be bringing her along to boys’ night. That type of behavior just isn’t appropriate, and it would make your life fall apart. But, in the grand scheme, your partner can be a top priority. The issue is that, while a lot of men would say that their partner is a priority, they struggle to show that. If you don’t show it, then your partner won’t feel it, and she may…leave. A top complaint of so many women in unhappy relationships is that they don’t feel appreciated. It’s sad because, I bet their partners do appreciate them but don’t take action to make that known. Men: here are ways to make your partner feel like the priority she is.
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One small gesture a day
It could be something a small as picking some flowers you found on your walk home that you thought she’d like, grabbing her favorite candy from the pharmacy, or printing a photo of you two that you had stored on your phone while you wait for your prescription. One small gesture a day shows that you aim to make her smile, every day.
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Give praise daily
If you see something you love in your partner, say it. Never miss the chance to tell her what you love about her. There’s no such thing as too much praise. If you love how goofy she is, or how generous she is, say that every time she does something that exhibits those traits.
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Call on your break
Just call her on your break. It’s so simple. Even if you’d like to read a book on your break, call your partner for five minutes and read the rest of your break. Calling reminds her that she’s a light in your life, and someone you want to talk to when you get a break from everything else.
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Regularly schedule date nights
Even if you can’t have a proper date night every week, keep date night on your radar. Make sure that you two always have something in the works. Show her that you make a point to carve out time in your schedule, to ensure you don’t go months without date night. Just make sure that next date night is always in the conversation, throughout the week.
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Try to spend time together every night
Even if it’s just 20 minutes before you go to sleep, find a way to focus on each other every night. Delay your meal so you can eat together. Go to bed early so you can go to bed together. Watch a show together, rather than separate shows on your laptops.
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Ask about her day and listen
It seems so simple, but a lot of couples—especially those who’ve been together for a long time—don’t ask about their partner’s day. Just knowing about those little details of her life, like the construction happening in her office or the new receptionist who keeps dropping calls, keeps you two connected.
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Be aware of her interests
Just have an awareness of her interests, so you can send her little things that pertain to them. Whether that’s a photo of a flyer you saw for a concert she may be interested in, or the phone number of someone you met who could be interesting for her to meet.
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Touch base before making other plans
If you and your friends are trying to find a weekend to go on a guys’ trip or do a whole-day thing, before picking a day, touch base with your partner. If the guys are open for several possible days, it’s good to talk to your partner because she may only have one free day to spend with you for weeks. You don’t want to accidentally plan your guys’ trip during that day—especially if that’s easily avoidable.
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Don’t over-schedule
Before saying yes to every invitation for the month, sit down with your partner and look at your calendars. Find your limited shared free days, and block those out for each other. If you don’t do this, you may accidentally fill up your days, and miss the days you could spend together.
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Do something special once a month
At least once a month, do something out of the ordinary. Go on a new hike. Get out of town. Go to a play. Go apple picking. See what your city has to offer and break routine. Get creative with dates.
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Put in time with her family
You have to put in time with her family if you’re going to make her feel important. If her dad is in town just for the night, even though you’re tired, grab dinner with your partner and her father. Not doing so sends a bad message—even if that wasn’t your intention.
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Talk about the future
Talk about the future—your future together—from time to time. Just start discussions about where she sees the two of you retiring or what kind of house she’d like the two of you to live in one day. Show her that when you think about the future, she’s always a part of it.
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Consult her on decisions
A new phone, a haircut, an outfit, how to ask for a raise, how to deal with a problematic co-worker—just ask your partner for her opinion.
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Be close when you can
Be physically close when you can be. Never miss a chance to be affectionate. Rather than sitting on separate couches, cuddle on the same couch when you watch TV. Sit on the same side of the booth at the restaurant. Walk next to each other rather than behind or in front of her.
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Get her together with your family
Make her feel like a part of your family, too. Invite her home for the holidays. Invite her to dinner with you and your sibling who’s in town. Let her know she’s always welcome when it comes to your family.
