Signs You're A Bad Friend
It’s You Boo: Signs You’re A Bad Friend
Two girlfriends are standing upset after relationship difficulties. (via Getty)
In all relationships, we tend to point the finger at what other people aren’t doing rather than asking ourselves how good of a wife, mother, daughter, girlfriend, co-worker, or — most important — friend we are. Sometimes we forget that, just like our romantic relationships, our friendships are a reflection of not only what we tolerate but what we give. And sometimes what we give our girls just isn’t up to par.
If your friends have been giving you the cold shoulder lately or even called you out on some of your shortcomings, don’t go on the immediate defense. Check out these signs you might actually be a bad friend (and then do better).
Young Woman Portrait. (via Getty)
You’re Too Judgmental
One of the key components of being a good friend is possessing the ability to listen, understand and accept your friends as they are. You shouldn’t place your own choices and outlooks on them, instead respect who they are without unnecessary judgement.
When you’re too judgmental it makes your friends feel hesitant to share certain aspects of their lives with you out of fear that your harsh judgement will make them feel bad about themselves. Instead, trying being a listening ear and resist the urge to let your judgements roll so freely off your tongue.
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You’re Overly Critical
Being overly critical with your friends falls in the same category as being judgemental…and they both have the same consequences of leaving you without any friends.
Sometimes when your friend asks your opinion it means that you should lift them up with positivity instead of critiquing every single thing about them that you don’t like or would do differently. Making your friends feel self-conscious about themselves should never be a characteristic you should strive for, so despite you thinking you’re keeping it real, you’re actually hurting them instead.
Close-up portrait of seductive woman with finger on lips at home. (via Getty)
You Don’t Keep Your Friends Secrets
Nothing is worse in a friendship than a friend who is a blabbermouth that can’t hold water. A good friend is one who will take your deepest, darkest secrets to the grave, not spread your business to all who will listen.
If your friend trusts you enough to tell your their secrets, the least you could do is be a trusting person and not reveal anything that they’ve shared with you. Once word spreads that you like to tell your friends secrets, no one will want to trust you with anything.
Shot of a beautiful young woman looking at herself in small mirror. (via Getty)
You’re Self-Centered
A friendship is a shared relationship where all parties are important and no one ranks higher than another. You definitely qualify as a bad friend if everything at all times is all about you, no matter what.
Being this self-centered and self-absorbed is a quick way to find yourself on an island by yourself with no friends at all. As it relates to your friends, you should get into the habit of not leading with yourself when at all possible.
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You’re Not Dependable
If you’re always late, flaking on plans or somehow disappear when you friends need you most, then you are guilty on one of the friendships sins…not being dependable. Now, this trait may not bother you, but if you’ve been called out on it more than once by your crew, you need to tighten up.
The next time you’re about to do something that puts you in the not dependable category, think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
Woman with afro hairstyle sitting in outdoor cafe taking a selfie. (via Getty)
Everything Has To Be Your Way
When making group plans or decisions it has to be all about you and what you want, no questions asked. This bratty behavior is not only immature, but it also highlights just how little you think of your friends ability to make decisions.
It may be hard to do if you’ve lived this way your entire life, but try to relinquish control once and awhile and let your friends have their voices heard and ideas come into fruition.
Chatting women ignoring upset friend on sofa. (via Getty)
Your Friends Are Disposable
You couldn’t care less if you’ve pissed your friends off so much that they no longer want anything to do with you because you’ll just get some new friends anyway. This behavior and belief that your friends are disposable only shows just how much you don’t value friendship at all.
Friendship faces rough patches just like relationships, but you don’t just drop your friends and instantly pick up new ones just because there are some issues going on. Instead, you should try to fix whatever is wrong and recognize that true friendships are irreplaceable.
Teenage girls listening to phone together. (via Getty)
You Don’t Understand How Trust Works
The only thing worse than a friend telling your secrets is one who betrays your trust. It feels like the hurt will never go away because of the absolute trust you put into them.
Trust means that you are a literal vault for your friends secrets and you would never betray their loyalty despite temptation from outside sources. People can forgive many things, but regaining trust once it’s lost is one of the hardest of all.
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You Think You’re Above Your Friends
Having a superior, snobby attitude that you use to make your friends feel beneath you is immature and insecure behavior that is reserved for those who don’t deserve to have any friends at all.
No one wants to feel like who they are and what they’ve done is not good enough, especially if it comes from someone they call a friend. Check your superiority attitude at the door and understand that you’re not better than anyone, but you could certainly be a better friend.
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You’re Only Around During The Good Times
How many stories have you heard about how someone had more friends than they knew what to do with when things were going great in their lives, but when the chips were down all those so-called “friends” conveniently disappeared.
If you are guilty of this behavior, then you were never really a friend to begin with. Friendship is about always being there for each other even when you’re at your lowest. In fact, many consider the making of a true friend being when they stick around when others have left them high and dry.
