Gettyimages.com/Smiling friends eating and drinking at long dining table on balcony at wedding reception
So that pretty little wedding invitation has arrived in the mail. You’ve had the save the date in your calendar for a very long time. You’ve set that day aside. You’ve even set a couple of days, before and after that day aside, just in case it turns out to be a destination wedding (even though these can be tough on guests, you’d go the distance for this particular couple). So, naturally, when you received that save the date, you told your current significant other or that one best friend everyone knows you’re attached at the hip with to also save that date. But, you open your invitation and…it’s just for you. There’s no plus one. There’s NO PLUS ONE?! You are immediately insulted, disappointed, embarrassed, and confused. You consider texting the bride to check that this wasn’t a mistake. Not only do you have to face the plus one you pre-reserved and tell him or her it’s not happening, but you also have to attend this wedding alone. Here are possible reasons you did not get a plus one to the wedding.
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Your last one got too drunk
The last plus one you brought to a wedding got very drunk and made people quite uncomfortable. He threw up, he dry-humped the bride, he gave a speech that was more like half a song he made up and then him just crying uncontrollably.
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You hooked up with someone else
At another wedding where you brought a plus one, you wound up making out with someone else at the wedding. And going home with someone else. Okay—you’ve done that at multiple weddings. So, why would the bride and groom waste a seat on the plus one they know you’ll abandon?
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You only have brief flings
The couple getting married, who has been together for over five years, just doesn’t think that your three-month relationship is that serious. Could it become serious? Sure. But history says otherwise since you’re addicted to flings. The bride and groom aren’t wasting a seat on someone you’ll probably dump in one month.
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You and your boo have broken up multiple times
You tell people that you and your boyfriend have been together for four years. But…they happen to know that you’ve broken up multiple times in those four years. The bride and groom would like to only have guests who they believe will still be in their lives in ten years. They don’t believe your on-again-off-again boyfriend is one of them.
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You don’t live together
Some couples just have rules stating they only invite plus ones if the couple lives together. That’s just their way of vetting the seriousness of a couple.
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You get too handsy in public
You and your plus ones get too handsy in public. There will be children at this wedding, after all. They saw their friend’s wedding video, and you and your date were grinding in the background of half the shots. They don’t want that.
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You have a setup coming your way
Your friends may be playing cupid—they may think that person you’ve been casually seeing isn’t right for you but they believe the single guy they’re seating you next to is.
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You must entertain that one family member
Without knowing it, you may be in charge of entertaining that one problematic family member—you know the one who always throws some tantrum or gets too drunk. The bride and groom need all of your attention on that guest.
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You weren’t helpful in the planning
You may have done this to yourself by not being helpful during the planning of the wedding. Perhaps the bride and groom were on the fence about giving you a plus one but then, not once over the year they were planning the wedding did you ask if you could help.
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You’re not as close as you thought
This may just be how you find out that the bride and groom don’t consider you that close of a friend. Because let me tell you something, best friends get plus ones.
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Financial constraints
It may not even be personal—perhaps the bride and groom are keeping things very, very small. If you show up to find this is a 50-person wedding then, you’ll probably also notice that only married couples got to attend together, but that all non-married guests are attending stag.
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They don’t want strangers there
This is a rather special day in the couple’s lives. Maybe they only want people there who are very special and close to them, and your plus one just doesn’t fit that bill.
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Your dates are strange
Your plus ones in the past have been strange. You just don’t have a good vetting process. You’ve had ones that talked politics way too much and even got into a yelling match with someone, and another one who tried to heal the bride’s chakras.
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The bride didn’t get a plus one to yours
If you are divorced, but at your wedding, this bride didn’t get a plus one, she remembers that. Oh yes—she does.
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You’re unreliable
You’ve been known to bail on weddings, and rather last minute at that. The bride and groom aren’t going to risk wasting two seats/meals by giving you a plus one.
