first date behaviors men think are polite but are just rude

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Gettyimages.com/Young woman enjoying rooftop party

When you’re out in the dating world, you experience a lot of well this is awkward moments. Sometimes, the way someone acts on a date is just painful to watch. You feel for them because, they think they’re making a good impression, and you know they’re just going to go out into the world and repeat that behavior. They’ll never know it’s the exact reason you never called them back. You could try to tell them but, you know how people can be about feedback—not everyone is ready to hear it. Not everyone believes it. Some guys are just stuck in their ways, or they insist this or that tactic is something women like, based on bad advice their male friends gave them. Men, when in doubt, don’t go for a thing. What I mean is, don’t try too hard to come off as charming or suave. It can backfire. It often does. Here are first date behaviors men think are polite but are just rude.

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Shaking the server’s hand

We’ve all witnessed it: the server comes to your table, and asks to take your order, but before giving it, your date asks for the server’s name, shakes her hand, repeats her name, and asks how her night is going. He thinks it makes him so nice. But it’s actually kind of gross because it’s this self-aware moment in which he’s thinking, “I’m in a position above you and am going to talk to you like an equal to show how kind I am.” Or you could just…quit that strange and twisted charade and put in your order.