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How many times have you heard a man say I’m a “good guy” and then observed behavior that speaks to the contrary? Somewhere along the twisted trajectory of romantic relationships, not being a bad guy made every man who has a job, loves his mama, and doesn’t put his hands on a woman think he’s a good guy. But is that really all it takes?

As I see an increasing number of disgruntled comments from men on social media complaining about women not wanting a “good guy” like them I thought, perhaps men don’t understand what it really means to be a good man. Yes, you have your fair share of women who do indeed have a gentlemen before them and still pick the bad boys. But as much as I hear women complain about finding a partner, I refuse to believe they’re turning down good options left and right.

So, I took to social media to ask women and men what makes a man a good guy. (Interestingly, I only got one male response.) Nevertheless, here’s what people had to say. Leave your own thoughts in the comments section.

Gettyimages.com/Close up of smiling couple hugging

1.Being mindful, loving, protective, and vulnerable.

Gettyimages.com/cYoung and beautiful couple hanging up laundry on a rooftop terrace.

11. Someone who is honest. He has a good heart. He says what he means and means what he says. He’s trustworthy, witty, makes you feel warm when you’re around him. He knows when to listen and when to make you listen and he’s chivalrous.