Rules For Dealing With Your Partner's Siblings

Rules For Dealing With Your Partner’s Siblings - Page 12

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Gettyimages.com/Young happy university students sitting at the table and talking about upcoming exams.

When you’ve been with someone for a long time, his family sort of becomes your family. You’re part of the inner circle—you are let in on personal information about the family, you sit witness to their arguments, you’re included on the holiday card, and you’re invited on their vacations. It’s a really beautiful thing, to be welcomed into the fold like that. And, it can mean you even get some additional siblings. But your relationship with your partner’s siblings is not exactly like that with your own, blood siblings. It can come close but there will always be some lines you cannot cross. It’s best for everyone if you are always on good terms with your partner’s siblings. If you aren’t, then the rest of the family—regardless of who is right or wrong in your fight with that sibling—just sees you as combative. They’ll always take their blood child’s side. Here are ground rules for dealing with sibling-in-laws.

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Don’t get involved in fights

Do not take sides when your partner and his sibling are fighting. It doesn’t matter if your partner is totally in the wrong—taking the sibling’s side makes you look like you aren’t a good partner. It doesn’t matter if the sibling is totally in the wrong—taking your partner’s side makes the sibling dislike you. Just stay out of it.

They can vent about their parents

The sibling can vent to you about their parents. In fact, you’ll often bare witness to your partner and his siblings talking sh*t about their parents and complaining about their parents. You can be there. You don’t need to leave—if it were private, they wouldn’t say it in front of you. They trust you.

The sibling can’t vent to you about your partner

Sometimes, the sibling may try to complain to you about your partner. That makes sense because you both know your partner very well. But, you’ll have to politely say, “I think you should take this up with your brother—I don’t feel comfortable talking behind his back like this.” You’ll come out looking like a good partner. The sibling will understand.

Your home may be a crash pad

You’ll probably need to open your home to your sibling-in-law whenever he comes to town. That’s just part of the deal—families host each other. That being said, since you are family, you aren’t expected to go to every event/dinner/outing with your partner and his sibling. They understand you have to work or do your own thing in your home.

Rules for dealing with siblings-in-law