Gettyimages.com/Couple holding hands in empty room
The average length of an engagement is 14 and a half months. Many couples aim to be married within a year of becoming engaged but, due to scheduling conflicts with their desired location or other obstacles, they can run a couple months behind schedule. That’s normal—that can happen. Even if you start planning your wedding the very day you get engaged and work on it every day until you walk down the aisle, planning a good wedding can easily take at least 10 months. And that’s rushed. But then you have couples who just don’t really get around to planning their wedding. They get engaged and then…that’s it. You wait for that save the date. You ask, anxiously, where they’ll get married (so you can decide if you can afford the plane ticket). But nothing. Is it hesitation to actually go through with it? Maybe. Who knows. But one thing’s for certain: these are signs that your engagement has lasted too long.
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People forget you’re engaged
People have forgotten that you’re engaged. They’ve actually asked you when you’re going to get engaged, totally blacking out that day you called them…a very long time ago…to celebrate your engagement.
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Your MOH had to bail
Your maid of honor had to bail. Or at least, she’s said, “Hey, I’ve tried to turn down other offers as much as I could but, I just couldn’t get a date for you so…just FYI, I’m a MOH of three other weddings next summer already.”
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Your engagement is longer than the relationship
You’ve been engaged longer than you’ve been together. And, you were together for a substantial amount of time before getting engaged.
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People have stopped asking about it
People have stopped asking about it. Nobody wants to know where the wedding will be, if it will be big or small, what the theme will be, or what dress designer you’re going to. Wedding talk fell off the table at dinner with friends.
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Wedding promos came and went
At one point, you were getting lots of wedding catalogues in the mail, emails with coupons to wedding stores and the like. Google analytics picked up on the fact, from social media, that you were engaged. But even Google analytics had to eventually move onto targeting other people.
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People withhold hookups
People have become hesitant to give you a number to their florist or caterer. They just don’t think you’re very serious about planning a wedding, and they only give these phone numbers out for serious inquiries.
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Friends say, “You don’t have to get married”
People have begun to suspect that maybe you don’t want to get married. Also, they’ve started to say things like, “You don’t have to get married if it’s not your thing…” Aka they’re calling your bluff on this engagement.
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Your mom mentioned your aging grandma
Your parents have begun to mention how this or that relative is getting very old and how it would be nice if she could be around for your wedding.
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Someone else wants to get engaged
A best friend or sibling is waiting for you to set your freaking date before she can get engaged or set hers. She doesn’t want there to be overlap, but now she’s pressuring you to make a decision.
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People assume husband
People you haven’t seen in a while assume that the wedding already passed, and start calling your partner your husband.
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Nobody’s waiting for the save the date now
People have stopped asking when the save the date is coming. They have no problem with leaving their mailbox unattended for days on end.
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Your dad’s given up on budget talk
Your dad was trying to talk to you about the budget for this thing. But he realized that you’re not very serious about doing it so, he’s actually dropped that subject (a subject about which he cares deeply).
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A friend got engaged after you and is married
One friend got engaged after you, and is already been married.
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You forget you’re engaged
Sometimes you slip back into calling your fiancé your boyfriend because this engagement has just been going on for so damn long.
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Dudes are creeping
A lot of men don’t take this engagement seriously since it isn’t moving forward. So they’ve been creeping into your DMs.
