Gettyimages.com/Young woman standing on bed with man lying down
How are women supposed to move on after divorce? Well, there really isn’t any “supposed to” but, I’ve witnessed some pretty admirable methods, one of which being the boy toy. Or the f*&k boy. The booty call. The human attached to a dildo (okay maybe that’s taking it a bit too far—it’s more of a dildo attached to a human). I’ve known a few women who went this route after their divorce. Some people judged them. Some people said they were running from their problems or not working on themselves. But why? Men can have casual sex while working on themselves. Nobody says men need to be celibate after divorce. And, is a little physical pleasure plus an ego boost the worst thing in the world after a marriage that may have been sexless and confidence-crushing? Here is the argument for the post-divorce boy toy.
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It’s nice to know you still got it
After being with someone who you felt just didn’t see you, didn’t notice how incredible you were, and didn’t have a jaw-drop moment each time you walked in the door, wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who does make you feel that way? You kind of just need to know, after a depressing and sexless marriage, that you still got it. You can still woo, seduce, and enchant like the rest of them.
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Treat yourself—your ex didn’t
Because treat yourself—duh! Your ex probably didn’t treat you. You didn’t feel like he treated you like a queen (which a partner should do). He didn’t actively seek ways to make you feel showered with attention and love, as he should have. So, shower yourself with those things.
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Take back some power
It’s kind of nice to take back some power, after going through something that makes you feel as power-less as a divorce can. When you get involved with a f*&k boy, you make the rules. You’re taking what you want, and leaving what you don’t want.
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It’s uncomplicated
It’s uncomplicated. And you need uncomplicated right now. You send a text, and he shows up. Maybe you have some boozy brunches, and talk about nothing but dumb, silly, fun, and light stuff. It’s the easy, straightforward part of your life.
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You can set up boundaries
You can set boundaries. Your boy toy knows what this is. Maybe he can’t call you during certain hours or try to see you on certain days. Maybe he can’t sleep over or, he can but, he can’t bring his toothbrush over.
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Men do it all the time
If you think men don’t do this, you’re fooling yourself. Men are typically babies when it comes to divorce who cannot stand to be alone for even a minute. A lot of them already know whose arms they’ll run to before even signing the divorce papers.
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Make up for those years of suppression
Those years when you needed to fulfill some role, be some person your partner wanted you to be—it’s time to make up for those. You can be whoever you want to be in the bedroom with your boy toy.
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Avoid a new, rushed relationship
Having a f&*k boy is a good way to stop yourself from rushing into another relationship. He’ll provide companionship and sex, and act as a placeholder while you pick up the pieces after your divorce and get ready for a new relationship one day.
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You took care of someone else for too long
For so long, you picked up after somebody, comforted somebody during his meltdowns, cooked for somebody, reminded someone of doctor’s appointments. You aren’t doing any of that for your boy toy and he understands that. It’s time for someone to take care of you. (You can totally ask your boy toy to bring food over and walk your dog—there is sex in it for him).
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They aren’t divorced
Typically, a f*&k boy won’t be a divorcee. He is a boy toy because he’s purposefully kept his life uncomplicated. And, it’s nice to be with someone with no baggage or hang-ups right now.
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They don’t wonder where this is going
Your f*&k boy won’t wonder where this is going. There won’t be lingering, stressful questions about the fate of this relationship. There won’t be all of those concerns and confusion of regular relationships.
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They treat your body like a wonderland
Your boy toy will treat your body like a wonderland. It’s his job and he knows it. He’ll cherish you, spend time on you, and make you feel like the goddess your ex didn’t.
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It’ll rebuild your confidence for dating
Spending some time with a f*&k boy will help you rebuild your confidence for the dating world. He’s like a…starter boyfriend before you get a real one. Consider him the sample size before you buy.
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It’ll make your ex jealous
I mean, if that’s something you’d like to do—if you’d like to show him what he missed out on and remind him that plenty of other people are willing to cherish you—the f*&k boy can help accomplish that.
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You won’t grow attached
F*&k boys are so aloof. They won’t grow attached. They’re too busy thinking about their…beanies? Vintage record collection? I don’t know. But you don’t need to worry about their feelings.
