How To Deal With A Messy Friend

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Every reality TV show has a formula for its episodes, especially when they want to kick up the drama. The women shop, they drink, they eat, they throw shade, they spill tea, and then they fight. It’s the most predictable schedule of events and anyone, including the women on the show, should be able to see the fallout coming from a mile away. Still, week after week, show after show, fans are usually baffled by the scenarios. But the truth is a lot of the viewers are operating within a similar dynamic.

We all have at least one messy friend, easily identifiable by the fact that she is never too far from drama. Most likely, she (or he) is the one who stirred it up in the first place — or at least kept it going. And while this friend makes for a great companion for a shady cackle, you definitely don’t want to get on their petty side, or caught up in some mess they caused.

Like all relationships, your friendship with one of the messy sort needs care and attention. But because of the potentially toxic nature of this individual, the relationship also requires a bit of additional management on your part. Here are some tips for handling them.

Look For The Good

Ok, so your homegirl is messy, but maybe she has some other great qualities which outweigh that. Maybe she’s incredibly loyal or kind-hearted, for example. Remember that none of us are perfect and allow her the fault of being messy. Focus on her redeeming qualities.

Set Boundaries

One of the best ways to handle your messy friend is to establish boundaries with them. Let them know which lines not to cross with you and those you love and stand firm in your resolve.

Classify Some Information

If you know your friend is always in the middle of some mess, perhaps you need to be more careful about what you share with them. There’s no need to give them access to sensitive information that can easily be used against you.

Call Them Out

The best way to get to the bottom of some drama is to ask your messy friend about it directly. Use those receipts you’ve been collecting to get a straight answer. And don’t hesitate to sit them down and remind them they have better things to put their energy into than cooking up drama.

Assess The Relationship

Think long and hard about your friend and what kind of person they are. Then consider what it is you would like your friendships to be like. Take a look at these factors and see if they fit together. That should give you a clearer idea of what your relationship actually is. What you do with this information is up to you.

Distance Yourself

When all else fails, the best way to handle a messy friend may be to get some space. That can either be a temporary or permanent situation, it’s your call.