Should you work for his family's business?

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If you met your partner through work, and he works in the family business, then it’s not totally impossible that at some point, his family’s company will offer you a job. Or, maybe you just have a special set of expertise that his family’s company needs right now. You care a lot about the company, you want to see them succeed, and the family has done so much for you that not stepping in almost feels wrong. But, maybe working for them is what’s actually wrong. It all depends on the circumstances. Once you’re married, the success of that business directly affects you—it affects you and your partner’s ability to put a child through college, buy a house, and more. But does that necessarily mean you should be involved? Is separation of family and business important? Here’s what you should know before working for your partner’s family business.

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You can’t hide career struggles

If you work elsewhere then, when you aren’t quite succeeding at work and progressing the way you’d like to, you can sugarcoat those stories to your in-laws. They have no real way of knowing what’s happening. But when you’re not thriving at their company, they know every detail of your failures.

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And you can’t hide monetary struggles

Your in-laws know about the changes and downfalls at work that mean a smaller paycheck for you. You can’t tell them not to worry about your money matters because they know them all too well.

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There’s more motivation for raises

The company will want to promote you and give you raises because they know you’re raising their grandkids/nieces/nephews. You won’t have to argue as much as to why you need a raise.

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They monitor how you use those raises

Of course, your bosses will also see, first hand, how you make use of the raises they give you. They’ll have an opinion on how you’re utilizing that raise.

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You see your in-laws a lot

You’ll bee around your in-laws a lot. I mean just…so much. You may need to go on work trips with them. You may stay late at the office with them and then go to family dinner…with them…right after.

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They equate work competence to all competence

The powers at be can’t help but think that your competence at work is an indicator of your competence in all things, including your parenting skills, and how you are as a wife.

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Work becomes personal

Your family bosses and colleagues will take work home. Of course they will. That means that if they’re upset with you over something work-related, that they’ll bring that anger to family dinner or even the family vacation.

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It’s very hard to get fired

It’s highly unlikely you’d get fired. You’d have to really mess up to do that. The company wants you to keep your job because they know you provide for their grandkids/nieces/nephews.

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You’ll be accused of nepotism

Your colleagues may not take to you at first. They’ll believe you are incompetent, only got the job because you’re family, and took the job from someone more qualified.

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You’ll need to work extra hard

In order to prove it wasn’t nepotism, you’ll have to work four times as hard as anyone else in your position would. It can be exhausting. But it’s the only way to earn your peers’ respect.

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Letting down your boss=letting down your partner

When you disappoint your bosses, you indirectly disappoint your partner. That is his family’s business, after all. He can’t remove himself emotionally when you talk about how you messed up at work.

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Your bosses will complain to your partner

Your bosses i.e. your in-laws have your partner’s direct line. They’ll call him and complain about how you’re doing at work if they’re unhappy with you. They shouldn’t, but they will.

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Leaving would be very personal

Should you ever decide to leave the company, it will be taken very personally. It could cause a rift in your family dynamics. You’d be seen as someone who betrayed the family.

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No real time off

You don’t really get time off. Do you think your bosses i.e. in-laws are going to not talk to you about work when you all go on a trip together or have dinner together? Yeah right.