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For the record, I’ve always been someone who had a drink or two on first dates. Some of my relationships may never have gotten a kickstart without a little booze. Judge that how you may but, we all know that alcohol can sort of grease the wheels when it comes to opening up, feeling comfortable, and being physically affectionate. I certainly didn’t need alcohol to be and feel all of those things after the first couple of dates with somebody—if I was compatible with someone, by date three or four I’d feel that way totally sober. So, there’s no judgment here when it comes to relying on a bit of liquid courage to relax and get in the mood for a date. That being said, there are some people for whom alcohol and dating just doesn’t mix. They rely too heavily on the stuff, and instead of it simply loosening them up, it makes them do regrettable things. Here are signs that alcohol and dating don’t mix for you.
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You accidentally insult somebody
You often find yourself having to give out lots of apologies the day after a date. You didn’t filter what you said. You were a bit too honest (aka rude). You said things that didn’t really reflect who you are or what you wanted to put out there.
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You sleep with people you regret
Before getting ahead of ourselves, I’m all for doing what you want with your body. If you want to sleep with someone on a first date, and the vibe is right, and you feel safe, do your thing. But if you often feel, after sleeping with someone and after sobering up that you disrespected yourself and didn’t do something you actually felt quite comfortable with, then alcohol and dating may not mix for you.
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You tend to go negative
Since alcohol can be a depressive, it’s not uncommon to go a little dark after some drinks. That being said, negativity and dating don’t really mix. It’s usually best that someone sees you can be positive and upbeat before you show him your sadder sides. If you wind up going really dark and being rather cynical on dates after drinking, it may be time to ditch the booze.
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You agree to 2nd dates you don’t want
You agree to second dates that you do not want to agree to. But, when you drink, you get into “yes mode.” In that mode, you agree to do things drunk that sober you will be mad at you for.
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On the 2nd date, you don’t know what you saw
Sometimes, you don’t regret saying yes to date number two until you actually arrive at date number two. Then sober you cannot possibly see what drunk you saw in this person.
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You over-share
You tend to tell stories that sober you really regrets you having shared. When you drink, you tend to have no judgment regarding which stories put your best foot forward and which ones, well, don’t.
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You pry and make dates uncomfortable
When you’re drunk, you don’t notice when you’re making someone uncomfortable. You don’t pick up on the fact that the person really doesn’t want to answer the question you’re asking, so you push and you push.
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You’re asked to keep your voice down
You’ve been asked on several occasions to keep your voice down or tighten up your behavior on first dates. Alcohol causes you to be a bit unaware of how loud or unruly you’re being.
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You don’t know when the evening’s done
You always insist that you go get one more drink, or go to one more establishment, or stay up a little bit later, even when your date clearly doesn’t want to. But you only realize how much he was resisting the next day, when you’re sober.
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You talk too much about exes
You tend to share every detail about your exes and your past relationships when you drink. The next day, you really wish you hadn’t done that because you realize, if things ever go anywhere with that date, he’ll know all your dirty laundry.
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You become paranoid
You can develop a little paranoia on dates, certain that your date isn’t telling you what he’s actually thinking. You believe you offended him, but he won’t admit it. You think he’s lying to you when he insists he isn’t. You just can’t relax.
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You rant about how awful dating is
You fall deep into the rabbit hole of complaining about how awful dating is. You share horror story after horror story, and start to tell your date that you fret you’ll be alone forever.
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You divulge your family’s secrets
You share things about your family that really aren’t your pieces of information to share. You wind up telling about affairs, financial mishaps, adopted children, and a lot of other things that are meant to stay in the vault.
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You spend too much
You just spend way too much money. You add the lobster tail. You get the shot of alcohol that has specks of gold in it. You order bottle service at a bar. You make your date very uncomfortable, as he tries to talk you out of all of wasting your rent money.
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You make bad choices after a bad date
If your date goes terribly, and you’re drunk, you make bad choices, like doing tons of expensive online shopping or having casual sex with a stranger.
