Little actions that show he’s truly invested

Gettyimages.com/Happy black woman preparing a piece of bread with marmalade for her boyfriend during an autumn day in nature. Focus is on woman.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that actions speak louder than words in relationships. I learned that the hard way, by sticking around for too many men who said they cared about me and loved me, but really didn’t show it. But, since they said it, I thought it must be true. Any time they dropped the ball on something, disappointed me, or weren’t there for me, I reminded myself that they said they cared for me so, these little mistakes didn’t mean anything. But they meant everything. What good are words if they aren’t backed up by actions? Who cares how much a man claims to love you if he doesn’t show up when you need him there? It’s pretty hard to feel that love in those times. So, don’t listen to what a new partner says: watch what he does. Here are little actions that show he’s truly invested.

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Driving you to the airport

We all know that driving someone to the airport sucks. Their plane always either leaves before the sun rises, or in the middle of rush our traffic. Circling the terminals and having security yell at your for pulling over for a millisecond is stressful. If a man does this for you, he’s invested.

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Doing the favor you owe someone else

Maybe you promised to take out a neighbor’s dog, but you’re stuck at work later than anticipated. If your partner does that favor that you owed someone for you, he’s not going anywhere. Most people barely want to do the favors they owe someone, let alone the favors someone else owes someone.

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Taking a day off work

He will take the day off work for you. Whether it’s to spend your birthday with you, to attend that wedding with you, to travel with you, or to comfort you after something tragic. He’ll burn a vacation or sick day on you.

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Buying the plane/train ticket

He’ll buy the plane or train ticket to attend your friend’s wedding. Casual boyfriends might attend the in-town wedding because, well, free booze. But only guys who are really invested will buy that $400 plane ticket to the out of town wedding of your friend.

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Keeping food you like, but he doesn’t

When a man starts keeping items in his house that you specifically like and the he specifically doesn’t like, he’s all in. He has made a little shelf in the fridge for those probiotic yogurts you love. He doesn’t even mind that his friends tease him about them.

Gettyimages.com/A young couple enjoying a playful pillow fight in a bedroom.

Adding a pillow

Are you someone who needs five pillows to sleep? If the guy you’re seeing bought more pillows to make you comfortable, then he’s in this for the long haul.

Gettyimages.com/At festival, three friends eating together, sharing the food, talking and having fun, they are standing in front of Food truck

Finding events related to your hobby

Sometimes he emails you flyers for events that are totally related to a hobby only you are interested in, but he’s offering to buy tickets and go along with you.

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Giving you something that keeps you safer

Like a car mount for your cellphone, so you don’t look at your lap to change the song on your Bluetooth. Or non-slip mats for your shower. He wants to keep you around for as long as possible.

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Giving you something that makes life easier

He picks up on a little inconvenience you deal with every day, like dragging your shampoo, body wash, and shaving moose in and out of the shower for each shower. So, he buys you a caddy to store all of that stuff in one place.

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He reads that writer you love

You mentioned a writer you love, or a band you love, so he looks them up. He read them. He listens to them. Even if it isn’t his cup of tea, he just looks into it to get to know you better.

Gettyimages.com/Close up of couple eating in a bar.

He checks with the restaurant about your allergies

You sit down at a restaurant, and before you can ask if the food has this or that allergen in it, he says, “You’re all good—I called in advance and checked.”

Gettyimages.com/Cropped shot of a young man listening to music while cooking in the kitchen at home

He makes extra food for you

If he makes himself food, he always makes extra, just in case you’re hungry when you come over. If he’s going to your place, he brings you the extra in Tupperware.

Gettyimages.com/A young multi-ethnic couple in their kitchen repairing the sink. The man is lying on his back, and the woman is sitting beside him holding some plumbing parts. They are smiling at the camera.

Cleaning/fixing things without being asked

You find him cleaning and fixing things around your apartment, but you didn’t ask him to do that. He just doesn’t think you should live with a squeaky door or crusty microwave anymore.

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Letting you run your presentation by him

He lets you run your presentation or speech by him. It’s not exactly exciting for him but, he wants to help you succeed in the things that matter to you.