What it’s like to marry a bisexual woman when you’re straight

What It’s Like Being Married To A Bisexual Woman

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Hey, you’re not straight. You’re also not gay. You’re bi. Don’t look at me; that’s just what some of the very smart people over at Cornell and Northwestern University have to say after doing some research on the topic. Apparently, most people are bisexual and there may be no such thing as straightforward, well, straightness. Or gayness. So, with that in mind, it shouldn’t be too surprising that, even if you aren’t bisexual, you may very well wind up with somebody who is. I’ve had a couple of male friends end up with bisexual women. I have to be honest with you and say that at first, I had my preconceived notions—I worried that these women would leave my male buddies for other women. I’ve since realized that, I was being silly. I mean, no relationship is perfect but, someone in the relationship being bisexual really doesn’t pose a threat—for the most part. So, fellas: here is what it’s like to marry a bisexual woman when you’re straight.

People ask why she’s out

Some people question why your partner even tells people she’s bisexual. She plans on spending her life with a man now, right? So we even bother disclosing that she’s bisexual? Well, because it’s a part of who she is. There are plenty of pieces of information you can choose about any given person and say, “There’s no reason for that to come up.” But, it also isn’t healthy for someone to feel they need to conceal something about themselves—whether or not it’s relevant.

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She can feel isolated

The LGBT community can apparently be a little dismissive of bisexual individuals who marry someone of the opposite sex. It’s not nice, but it’s true. One of my male friends who is married to a bisexual has said that his wife feels like she gave up a community by marrying a man.

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Trust is trust is trust

Just because someone is bisexual doesn’t mean she’s twice as likely to cheat. Someone either has the impulse to cheat or they don’t. There are still plenty of individuals a straight person can cheat with—if someone wants to cheat, they cheat. Being bisexual doesn’t push someone over the edge.

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You learn to skip the fantasy jokes

Pretty much all of my male friends who are with bisexual women had to learn the hard way that they don’t get to joke about having threesomes with their partners, and some other woman they all know. That’s not fair joking territory.

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But strangers think you’re into threesomes

Just because you’re not into threesomes nor is your partner, doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t assume you’re into them. They do, and they comment on it a lot.

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Friends joke she’s transitioning to a lesbian

Some of my buddies’ friends joke that their partners are just still in the middle of transitioning from straight to lesbian, and will figure out that they don’t like men at all one day.

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Sometimes, you wonder if you’re very feminine

I know that all of my male friends who are married to bisexual women have wondered, at one point, “Am I just really…feminine? Is that how a bisexual woman loves me?!” But being bisexual doesn’t mean liking some hybrid of a man/woman. Their wives like that they are masculine men.

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You question if just one gender will satisfy her forever

It’s only natural that men who are married to bisexuals wonder if just one gender will satisfy them forever. They clearly can take pleasure in being with other women so, do they feel like they’re limiting themselves by marrying a man?

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But then you realize, it’s not about the gender

My friends let go of their fears about their partners feeling limited. They realized that it’s not about the gender—it’s about the person. And they are the people whom their partners want to be with.

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You’re curious about her friends’ sexualities

My friends have admitted that, they’ve questioned the sexuality of every female friend of their wives. They never quite know who is a straight woman who just wants a friendship and who is a bisexual or gay woman who is trying to encroach on their territory.

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People call her friend hangs her “dates”

People often tease my male buddies who are with bisexual women and say things like, “How was your wife’s date last night with that woman?” or “Is your wife out with her girlfriend right now?” It’s not very sensitive.

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You wonder if she’s better at, uh, stuff

Hey, can you blame a man who is with a bisexual woman for wondering if she is perhaps better at pleasuring women than he is? I mean, she has some experience in the field.

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Do you need to tell the kids?

The question eventually comes up of: do we need to tell the kids? Every couple has different views on the matter. They pretty much all agree that, if one of their kids appears to struggle with their sexuality, that the bisexual parent will tell the kids she’s bisexual as a way of showing that their home welcomes all sexualities.

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You never know who is an ex

My friends never know, when they run into someone their wives know, if that person is just a friend or an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. If there is any weirdness there, it’s always possible they dated once.

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You never know when she’s flirting

Since women just tend to be more physically affectionate and emotionally open, it can be very hard for a man with a bisexual wife to know when she’s flirting with another person, or when she’s just being nice.

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Bisexual female sexuality sexuality

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