Healthy habits you lose after being together for a while

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I don’t always love when people say the words, “Relationships are hard work” because I think it gives others the wrong idea. If you’re in the right relationship then, the joy you get out of it outweighs the work you put into it so much that you don’t even feel the work. If you think of a relationship like a car, then you know, you just need to give it a little TLC—clean it, change the oil from time to time, and pay attention to its weird noises—and it will take you anywhere you want to go. It makes you feel free! That’s just like a good relationship. You get back so much more than you put in. But couples who have been together for a very long time can begin to take for granted that they’ll keep getting without giving. Here are healthy habits you lose after being together for a long time.

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Cooking together

Remember when you started dating and you’d email each other recipes throughout the day, excited to choose which one you’d make that night? You’d even go to the store together, and you’d play music while you cooked. You made a whole thing of it. Never stop doing that—it’s good to do a project like that together.

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Eating together

Heck, if you can’t cook together then at least eat together. It’s too easy to just eat your own microwave dinner, by yourself, because you didn’t want to wait 20 minutes for your partner to get home. But if you wait for him, you can salvage a little quiet time together.

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Going to bed at the same time

Try if you can to keep going to bed at the same time. If your partner is coming to bed three hours later, I understand it isn’t possible. But if you’re just looking at a 30-minute difference, then wait for your partner so you can snuggle and laugh in the sheets, away from computers and obligations.

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Watching the same TV show

Never give up on the great “What should we watch?” debate. Don’t start watching separate shows in separate rooms. Even though you aren’t talking while you watch something, you’re still experiencing something together when you watch the same thing. And you can talk about it after.

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Or just not watching TV

There are some truly magical days at the beginning of a relationship—days when the couple doesn’t even watch TV when they get together. They’re just so excited to share everything about their days. Try not to lose that.

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Planning new and exciting experiences

Even though you may find your restaurants, parks, and bars that you like as a couple, never stop planning new, different experiences. You actually bond more by experiencing new things together.

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Getting up when your partner gets home

For goodness sake, shut that laptop and give your partner a hug and kiss when he walks in the door. You aren’t roommates.

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Touching base throughout the day

Remember when you had to text your partner every little thing that happened throughout the day? That doesn’t need to stop! You should always be one another’s confidantes (and even gossip companions) throughout the day.

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Cross-consulting calendars

Yes, trying to plan things and accommodate two schedules is tough. The temptation to just make a plan, on your own, without seeing if on a different weekend, your partner could have come along, is tempting. But if you get in the habit of this, you’ll never see each other.

Gettyimages.com/An unrecognizable female supermarket customer stands over her shopping cart and holds her new smart phone next to her paper shopping list. Old habits are hard to break.

Picking up thoughtful gifts

Even if it’s just an Ice T, pack of gum, or carton of ice cream your partner likes. Those little things show that your partner is always on your mind.

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Leaving time for sex

When you start dating, you don’t leave time for anything other than sex. When you’ve been together for years, you pack your days so full that you don’t leave any time for sex. Don’t forget to make time for sex. And yes, you have to make it. It won’t just show up.

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Carving out alone time

Sit down, look at your calendars, and identify a couple of times each month when you can have alone time. Put giant red hearts on those dates—nobody is taking those days. Make a pact to save them for one another.

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Holding hands while walking

You’re so lucky that you have someone to hold hands with when you walk! It’s a way of saying, “This person is mine and I want to be near him.” So slow down, walk next to your partner, and hold his damn hand.

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Complimenting one another

Never stop finding reasons to compliment each other. Your partner gave up all the other people in the world to be with you, because you make him feel special. You did the same for him. So, keep your promise to each other to make one another feel special every day.

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Celebrating each other’s victories

Even if they’re small, they should be big to you. Never stop making a whole big thing of it when your partner gets a small raise or his work is mentioned in a local newspaper.