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Gettyimages.com/A young mixed race couple sitting at a table in a diner or coffee shop, talking face to face. They are casually dressed in cardigan sweaters.

I think that, unfortunately, oftentimes once someone has been in a relationship with someone who is controlling, jealous, possessive, and has trust issues, that person can begin to believe that that’s the norm. Sadly, I know several women who always end up in relationships like that. After talking to them a bit, I learned something: they believe that all relationships are like that. They think that, if you want to be in a romantic relationship, that you just need to put up with someone constantly accusing you of being disloyal, and you must tolerate someone who keeps you on a tight leash. In fact, I know they think all relationships are like that because when I tell them my boyfriend doesn’t act like that they are shocked. They say I’m very lucky. And while, yes, I am lucky for many reasons—having a partner who simply respects and trusts me isn’t luck. That’s common decency. Here are things someone who trusts you will never make you do.

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Bring a chaperone

You should never have to bring a chaperone to dinner, drinks, a social event, or anything, just to make your partner feel comfortable. You had male friends before meeting him. You didn’t do anything inappropriate with them then, so there’s no reason you would now. Someone who trusts you won’t make you bring a chaperone to spend time with other men.

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Share passwords

Your passwords are your passwords. It is entirely up to your discretion who has those. Nobody who trusts you would ever demand you tell them your passwords. In fact, if someone is convinced he’d find incriminating conversations on your laptop or phone, then you have a bigger issue on your hands that exchanging passwords can’t help.

A troubled wife turns to Reddit for advice after struggling to forge a relationship with her new husband's ex.

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Edit yourself with friends

A good partner understands that you need to talk to your friends about your relationship. It’s healthy! Good friends tell one another stories about their relationships and ask for input. If your partner trusts you, and has faith in this relationship, he won’t give you guidelines on how you’re allowed to talk about your relationship.

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Stick to a curfew 

When someone trusts you completely, they want you to enjoy yourself. They would never want you to cut your good times with your friends short to stick to some ridiculous curfew. They’d understand that you already have to stick to too many schedules in life, and when you’re out with friends, you should just relax.

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Distance yourself from male friends

If you’ve always had close male friends with whom you spoke on the phone ever day, texted, and told personal information, there’s no reason that should change once you’re in a relationship. Someone who trusts you understands that you’ll have several intimate relationships in your life, other than your romantic one. And he’ll understand that those relationships are important.

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Update your social media status 

There are tons of reasons you may not want to list your relationship status on social media. Perhaps you just don’t think it’s other people’s business. Perhaps you don’t want jealous exes stalking and bothering your new partner. Either way, your social media is your social media and nobody should force you to put any sort of relationship status on there.

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Post pics you aren’t comfortable with

If you’re a private person, you may not want to post tons of photos of you and your partner being affectionate. There’s nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, however, is a partner who forces you to post these types of photos to make you prove your loyalty.

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Disclose all past relationship details

Whatever happened in your past relationships is your private business. You aren’t obligated to tell a new partner how relationships ended, what you fought about in past relationships, or really anything about them. Only someone with trust issues would demand that information.

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Stay close at parties 

If you’re a social butterfly then you should be allowed to spread your wings at parties. You spend plenty of time with your partner—he should be glad if you want to leave his side and talk to other people at parties. He shouldn’t accuse you of being disloyal for doing this.