Challenges you’ll face marrying someone with different political views

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Can you marry someone with different political views than your own? Sure. It happens all of the time. In fact, for some couples, it provides that fire—that passion—that keeps their conversations alive and interesting, and their sex life active and hot. But, for some couples, having different political views can really be a point of tension and a regular cause of fights. It’s hard not to feel that, when you have varying political views from someone else, that you have different values as human beings. Try as we may to not think this way, sometimes, we all do it—we believe that people with different political views from our own are bad people. We snap out of it, and realize that is small-minded and a very problematic way of thinking. But being married to someone who causes that internal strife in you regularly is…tough. Here are the challenges you’ll face marrying someone with different political views.

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You have to be sensitive on social media

You want to vent and make a long post on social media when anything major happens in politics. But you realize that not only will your partner see that but, more importantly, his entire circle—from professional to personal contacts—will see it. And that could be damaging for him.

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You can’t watch the news together

You cannot wind down at night by watching the news together. You have to watch it in separate rooms. And you try to just stay out of the room where your partner is watching the news because it makes you too angry.

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You get mad at him when his party messes up

When your partner’s party messes up, you transfer your anger towards that party onto your partner. You act like he did this to you. You interrogate and grill him, asking what were you thinking?!

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It comes up in finance talk a lot

It’s nearly impossible to avoid the topic when it comes to paying for…anything. From rent to mortgages to health care bills to increasing premiums. Politics affected those numbers one way or another.

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You accuse him of being elitist/sexist/something bad

Sometimes, you lose your cool, and you accuse your partner of having some of the worst, basest qualities that have sometimes been exhibited by some members of his political party. It isn’t fair, and you always feel bad after.

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You hide it from your friends

You try to hide the fact that your partner has different political views from your friends. They tend to share your views and, well, they rather openly talk about how much they hate his political party.

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But the friends that know, don’t like him

A few of your friends have picked up on the fact that your partner has different political views from your own. They not only like him less because of it, but seem to like you less, too.

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And you have to tell them to be nice to him

You’ve had to tell friends of yours to cool it on political talk around your partner. A few of them have picked fights with him and ruined dinner parties.

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It will affect both of your healthcare someday

At some point—or rather, at many points—your healthcare will be negatively affected by your partner’s political party. At some point, his healthcare will be negatively affected by your political party.

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And your children’s education

If you have children, things like student loan rates and forgiveness programs will change many times due to politics. Sometimes it will be your political party helping in that area, and sometimes it will be your partner. But if your partner’s party makes a choice that causes you both to pay much higher rates in student loans, you get very mad at him.

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You want to throw his mail out

Sometimes, when you get the mail and see propaganda sent by his party (or a voter’s ballot…) you want to throw it out, and pretend it never arrived. But, you know that would be crossing a major line.

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If his family shares his views…

If your partner’s family shares his views (which they likely do) he either A) has to hide from them the fact that you have different ones or B) constantly defend his choice in marrying you to them.

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If your family shares your views…

If your family has your political views, they question your choice to be with your partner. And, your partner and your parents get into political debates too much for your comfort. Furthermore, your parents want their grandkids raised with their political views.

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In fact, you watch the election separately

You have to go to separate places to watch the election. It’s just not a good idea for you two to be in the same room (let alone building) for that.