Small gestures that are more meaningful than grand ones

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I live in a city where there is a lot of wealth. It’s not unheard of that a couple might go to a six-course private chef’s tasting dinner for a first date and away for a resort vacation for a third one. But when people have a lot of money and free time, it’s easy to use elaborate gifts and activities like that as a replacement for an actual connection or real effort. Think about it: what actually takes more effort 1) Grocery shopping and cooking a five-course meal (and cleaning up after it) for a date or 2) Throwing down your credit card? Fancy and expensive dates and presents can be nice but as a supplement to real care—not as the whole relationship. At the end of the day, if I had to choose between small gestures and large ones, I’d go with small. Here are small gestures that are more meaningful than grand ones.

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Walking the dog so I can sleep in

There are many mornings when I’m just so exhausted I don’t think I could keep my eyes open to safely walk our pup. On these days, my boyfriend knows what’s going on, and he says, “I’ll do it—you go back to sleep.” Oh, and by the way—she is really my dog who he just inherited through the relationship. She is just my responsibility.

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Leaving me the parking spot 

My boyfriend has circled our neighborhood for 20 minutes trying to find a street parking spot, just so that he could leave me the parking spot that comes with our apartment. He does this almost every single day because he doesn’t want me to have to walk far from my car.

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Starting the coffee

Many a morning I’ve woken up to the smell of fresh coffee that my boyfriend made just for me. Let me explain: he wasn’t having any. He was even in a rush to get out the door. But he put on a pot so I could wake up to fresh coffee.

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Getting me out of something I don’t want to do

My boyfriend and I do this for each other, back and forth, all of the time. Someone will invite the both of us, as a couple, to something he knows I won’t want to do. He won’t even put the pressure on me to come up with an excuse. He just makes one for me, on the spot.

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Making extra food, just in case 

Almost every time my boyfriend makes something special and elaborate to eat, he makes an extra portion even if I won’t be home to eat with him. He just figures it could make an easy lunch for me the next day.

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Cleaning my last few dishes

Sometimes I just can’t clean one more dish. And we don’t have a dishwasher, so we’re doing everything by hand. But there are nights when I think it may kill my soul to run the sponge over one more spatula. I often wake up the next morning to see my boyfriend just cleaned my final dishes, just so I could wake up to a clean kitchen.

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Tossing in my laundry

Any time my boyfriend does laundry, he asks if I have anything he can toss in. I can’t tell you how many times my boyfriend was the reason I had fresh underwear to get me through the rest of the week.

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Staying home to receive a plumber

If a plumber or some other type or professional needs to come by the house, there is a good chance that both my boyfriend and I had something we wanted to do out of the house. But often, my boyfriend will just sacrifice his activity and stay home so I can go out.

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Grabbing pharmacy essentials

Any time either my boyfriend or I stop at the pharmacy, we come home with a few things the other one needs. It may not be something they needed urgently, but it’s something we know they use on a regular basis.

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Accommodating my crazy sleep needs

I’ll be honest: my sleep habits are pretty crazy. I need five pillows. I need a sound machine on. I need the center divider of our apartment closed to keep our dog on the particular side of our place where she barks less. My boyfriend helps arrange all of these needs before we go to bed.

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Driving so I can nap/work in the car

When my boo and I need to drive somewhere, sometimes he will take the wheel so that I can nap, or call my mom, or work on my laptop. It doesn’t make me the most fun car companion, but he does it for me out of the kindness of his heart.

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Getting home early to welcome my guests

I don’t always manage my time expertly. Sometimes I try to pack too much into my day. This can result in one of my friends, showing up at our front door at the time I designated…to find that I’m not there. I’m stuck in traffic somewhere. But my sweet boyfriend has saved me in these instances, left where he was, and gone home to let my friend in.

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Letting me pick the movie when I’ve had a bad day

Generally speaking, we have a rule in which we both need to agree on the movie. But if I’ve just had a terrible day and I need a win, my boyfriend lets me pick the movie—even if it’s my favorite genre (Zombies) which he hates.

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Waiting on hold on the phone for me

Sometimes I have just enough spare time to call the Internet company and address an issue but not enough time to wait on hold for 15 minutes. And guess who steps in and waits on hold while I shower and brush my teeth? My boo.

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Giving me his coupons

My boyfriend and I have shared our coupons with each other many times. When I get coupons from CVS, before throwing them out, I check to see if any of them apply to something my boyfriend likes to buy.