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Gettyimages.com/Couple playing in bed

Sex has a way of losing some of that magic after you’ve been together for a long time. You absolutely can still feel the magic in your relationship—maybe you just feel it more through your inside jokes or that show you both love to watch on Netflix. But do you remember how, when you first started dating your partner, sex was this all-consuming, ecstatic type of nirvana? Your bodies just couldn’t get enough of each other. Never give up on having that! When you live together or have spent upwards of five years together, it’s just a little harder to come by. Talk of utility bills and who will pick up more toilet paper gets in the way. By the time you make time for sex, it feels like an errand. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are things you can do before sex to help it feel more intimate.

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Laugh together

Laughing together releases all sorts of feel-good hormones in your bodies. Plus, when you laugh with someone, you’re actually connecting on several levels—intellectually, spiritually, and more. So watch a video or talk about something that will get you giggling.

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Give a break down on your days

You need to sort of release your day from your body before you can do anything else with your body. So take a few minutes to give one another the break down of your day. Too many couples forego this, thinking their stories are boring or unimportant. But it’s valuable just to have a feel for what your partner experienced that day, even if it wasn’t life-changing.

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Discuss that couple you’re better than

Okay okay, it might be a little petty, but you know you always feel closer after talking about that other couple who, um, sucks. But when you talk about their flaws, you’re actually indirectly talking about your strengths and the things you appreciate about this relationship.