Here are scheduling challenges every couple faces

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When you fuse your life with your partner’s, his schedule begins to affect you. You can’t retreat to your own apartment when, for example, your sleep schedules completely contract with one another’s and you don’t want to be awaken by his alarm clock, nor do you want to stay quiet in the living room when he passes out. You can’t escape to your home when he hosts boy’s night and you just don’t have the patience to see 40 empty beer cans everywhere or to listen to sports talk for three hours. His schedule, his appointments, his social life, his calendar—these things affect you. And all of those things of yours affect him. Then there’s the fact that you want to do things together! So you can, you know, keep this relationship alive. Scheduling may be the biggest obstacle couples deal with. Here are scheduling challenges every couple faces.

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Claiming each other’s relaxation days

You knew your partner was free on Saturday, so you RSVP’d yes to a brunch you two were invited to. You didn’t realize that your partner needed that one day to relax, because it was his only unscheduled day for two weeks. Whoops!

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When work comes first

Sometimes work just has to come first. Sometimes date night turns into you accompanying your partner to a work dinner. And that’s fine, until the following week, when your work gets in the way and your partner complains. You remind him about the previous week. You either both get to let work get in the way, or neither of you.

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Who to bring on vacation

This isn’t a scheduling issue so much as a social one, but schedules are involved. You want to invite these friends on vacation; your partner wants to invite these others. Of course, both couples have different schedules and cannot go on the same weekend. So, who do you choose?

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Making time for sex

Ah this is the greatest scheduling conflict of all! When to have sex. Before the movie? Even though you’ll be rushed? Or after the movie, when you have time, but will be tired?

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Making time to get in the mood for sex

You can’t just dive into sex, either. You need time to relax and reconnect. Otherwise it feels robotic and sad. So you need to schedule that buffer time leading up to the sex.

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Choosing a movie before the delivery place closes

Every weekend is a race to beat the delivery restaurant’s hours. But you don’t want to order until you’ve picked out a movie; you like having the food arrive halfway through the movie. But, you can’t decide on a movie, and that restaurant is closing in 12 minutes…

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How to handle when parents are in town

When his parents are in town, how involved do you need to be? Are you supposed to drop everything you’re doing and spend morning until night with them? Or can you go about your life, and join them all for dinner? The answer usually lies somewhere in between, but you never get it right.

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Early mornings that ruin date night

So your boyfriend scheduled a meeting for 9:30 am Saturday morning. You’re having date night Friday night. He insists that won’t change anything, but you do notice he isn’t really drinking wine and he’s watching the clock a lot—it’s because of that damn early morning meeting.

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Having sex during oven times

We’ve all done it; had sex during oven times. Prep all the food, turn on the oven, get in our cute underwear and get the lube out, then when the oven is ready, put the food in, and have sex during the 20 minutes it needs to cook.

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The tandem parking

If you have one of those terrible tandem parking spots, then schedules are very important. Your partner needs to, for example, get home before you fall asleep if he wants you to come outside and move your car to the back spot—which you should do, because you’re leaving earlier in the morning.

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Rushing back from vacation

One person wants to milk that last day of vacation—getting lunch after checking out of the hotel and going for one last beach walk—while the other, turns out, has scheduled an appointment back at home for 5pm. So there goes a relaxing wind-down.

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Back-to-back visitors

Your partner’s friend wants to visit the 10^th through the 15^th and your friend wants to visit the 14^th through the 20^th. They asked you at the exact same time. Who gets the room? Technically, one could have it until the 13^th…but then you need to change those sheets for the new guest. But the 12^th is the only day you have to do laundry!

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Hosting friends when one needs to rest

Sometimes it’s your turn to host girls’ night but your partner desperately needed a quiet night to himself at home. You ask another friend to host it but…her partner also wants the place to himself that night.

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Who has to stay home to change the laundry?

You both have laundry in the machine right now, so who has to forego their trip to the gym or lunch with a friend to stay home and switch it to the dryer in a half hour?