The argument for staying mostly single in your 20s

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You have your whole life to spend…well…your whole life with somebody. And while I don’t think anyone should ever settle in a relationship, you are bound to do it a few times before you find your perfect match. That being said, reserve those mistakes for your 30s and beyond. Don’t waste the magic of your 20s on the monotony of monogamy with the wrong person (they’re mostly all the wrong person at that age). It’s such a special decade in your life. And, for the record, I fully believe that a relationship can help you grow and thrive as an individual but only once you’ve already done a lot of that by yourself. If you aren’t fully emotionally developed by the time you get into a relationship, it will only stunt your growth. And you’re doing a lot of growing in your 20s. Here is the argument for staying mostly single in your 20s.

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Men that age are still cheaters

Men and women mature at very different rates. And the truth is that a lot of men are less-than-faithful in their twenties. They don’t quite yet understand the implications of cheating, nor what cheating really entails. Many accidentally cheat, because they didn’t realize they were in a relationship, or many have emotional affairs, not even knowing that that’s a thing.

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Or at least they’re bad boyfriends

Even the 20-year-old guys who don’t cheat are just not the greatest partners. They don’t really know how to value a relationship yet or put their partners first. They’re still very into bro culture or perhaps completely fixated on their internship/job.

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You have the stamina to party

When you hit your thirties, you won’t have the stamina to party that you do now. Trust me. So have fun with it while you have it! You really can’t go out partying every night when you have a boyfriend who wants to stay in.

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Really, you have that stamina

You could go out partying if you have a boyfriend, but you’ll deal with the jealousy. Your BF will always want to know where you are, who that person was you were talking with, why you’re running late etc.

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So do men in their 20s

Also, men in their 20s still want to party a lot. Do you want to deal with that? The worrying about why they’re out until 3am and the being angry when they dance with other women?

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Only you dictate your career moves

Nobody but yourself should dictate your career moves. You should find mentors, of course, but when it comes down to it, you shouldn’t have a relationship influencing your decision to move here for work or take on this demanding but rewarding position.

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You should try everything

You should take every class that interests you, travel, go to nudist resorts, and just do it all! But when you have a partner, you feel pressure to conform to a certain person. That’s okay later, when you have defined that persona. But you only define it by trying everything first.

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You shouldn’t adjust your personality

You’re still just a jellyfish, really—completely malleable. Once you’ve figured out who you are alone you can find a partner. At that point, you can recognize if someone will require you to change or not be yourself, and ditch them. But when you don’t yet know yourself, you’re too prone to change constantly for anyone you date. And you can’t get to know your true self that way.

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You’re fine-tuning your friend group

This is a very special time for your friend group. You should be developing your tribe. If you’re in a relationship, your tribe might just become his tribe. You should dedicate most of your social time to growing friendships right now.

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Take some test drives

You should be testing out different types of dudes. Go on lots of first dates. Learn about personality types and character traits. Experience different lifestyles through various men.

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You’re not ready to be faithful

Honestly, you probably aren’t ready to be faithful yet, either. If you settle down now, you’ll probably be left wondering, “What if…” and you could find yourself cheating.

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You won’t just get comfortable

Being in a relationship has its perks—it can be comfortable. But, in your twenties, you should avoid comfort. You should be pushing yourself past your comfort zone all of the time. It’s how you grow!

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You’ll be stronger for it

You will know, in your heart, that you don’t need a partner. When you have that strength, you automatically scare off guys who would have tried to control you.

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You’ll choose a better relationship later

When you do get into a serious relationship, you’ll probably find a pretty solid one. You know who you are. You know what you want. You’re happy. You have a full, well-rounded life. Those are the ingredients for quality partnerships.