The Little Things That Make Relationships Last Long Term
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How do long-term couples make it work? Sure, there are the big picture things like communication, honesty, and making the relationship a priority. But what about the day to day, minute, boring but important details? If you’re going to live together, have most meals together, conjoin your social lives, conjoin your friends, and become part of one another’s families, there are just going to be some practical hurdles to overcome. Couples who have been together for a really long time (at least half a decade) have a few tricks up their sleeves to make the whole thing go a bit smoother. They’ve hit the bumps in the road on things like keeping the spark alive and having a domestic partnership while still having fun. From scheduling sex to budgeting, here are pro tips from long-term couples.
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Scheduling sex
Seriously, if you don’t schedule sex, you will find that you don’t have sex for months on end. Something always fills up those little extra gaps of time. There is never nothing to do. And you need to schedule time to reconnect and relax before sex, too. You can’t just dive into the physical stuff or else it isn’t very good.
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Separate blankets
Cuddling is all fine and dandy but when all is said and done, you want separate blankets. Otherwise you wind up to find your partner has left you bare and cold, or you’re awoken each time he tugs the sheets.
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Don’t force double date chemistry
If your partner doesn’t like your best friend’s husband just accept it. Don’t force the poor guy to double date with couples he doesn’t like and he won’t do the same to you.
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Stick to the menus you know
You may say you want to be adventurous on date night, but you know no restaurant impresses you the way that one you love does. So stop trying to branch out. When you find the one or three places you love, return to them so everybody can be happy.
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Never RSVP without consulting
Never, ever RSVP on both of your behalves without consulting your partner. Just don’t do it even if you feel certain he’d want to go. You never know what one little thing he hasn’t told you (like the fact that he actually hates that one person who is going).
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Have sex in the afternoon
Once the excitement has died down, nobody has the energy to have sex when it’s late, they’re full of food, and they’re drunk. Have sex in the afternoon, sober, before the big meal. It’s such a relief to just get it out of the way.
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Write down pins and passwords
You know you borrow one another’s phones, laptops, tablets, and even debit cards. So put the passwords and pins down in one place so you don’t have to ask each other over and over again.
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A nice stiff mattress
Get a mattress that barely bounces when one person moves. It eliminates those fights over who woke who up by moving too much during the night.
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Save money for trips
Stop pretending you have any idea what things to buy each other. Just agree to treat each other to a little weekend getaway instead of attempting to buy one another jewelry or electronics.
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Don’t bring up old fights
Just don’t. No matter how hilarious of a joke you’ve come up with that is contingent on you bringing that old fight, don’t do it. Sacrifice the joke. You know you always just have the fight again.
Bigstockphoto.com/Chicken Satay; barbecued skewered chicken shown on white plate with peanut dipping sauce on the side.
Secretly check on dietary restrictions
When your friends invite you over for dinner, privately call them and tell them about your partner’s dietary restrictions. Don’t tell him you did that though, so he can not have indigestion and keep his pride.
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Don’t watch your shared show alone
Just don’t do it, no matter how tempting. It is very, very hard to find a show that you both love. So when you find one, don’t blow an episode when you’re home alone, perfectly capable of watching something else.
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Be open about bathroom issues
Stop playing this game of pretending you don’t have a digestive system or bodily functions. Everybody will be happier (and healthier) if you can be open about these things. You can’t “go to the gym” just to poop forever.
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Do not work for his friend or visa versa
It’s just for the best that you don’t work for one of his friends and that he doesn’t work for one of yours. You don’t want your friend complaining to you about him, or his friend complaining to him about you.
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Always love the haircut
Never, ever even show the tiniest hint that you may not like your partner’s haircut. Nobody wins if you’re honest about that. Your partner will feel insecure and not want to have sex and you’ll feel like a jerk.
